Prints Charming Sunday: Love, Exciting And New

Welcome to Prints Charming Sunday!




Did today's title get "the Love Boat" theme song stuck in your head? Ha! That is my gift to you. I've been thinking alot about Valentine's Day themed titles for blog posts, and the stinking freaking Love Boat won't leave my brain. Bah! Damn you stupid 1970's awesomely crappy tv shows. Now, normally I'm all about wacky novelty prints from the 40's and 50's. I don't generally "do" novelty prints from the 1970's (it just ain't my bag, baby) but then in an interesting twist of ironic irony, I came across a 1970's novelty print that's so very fitting to go with today's Love Boat era/valentines-y theme that I couldn't not show it off. (Did you enjoy that double negative that I dropped on you just there, grammar nazis? I thought you might.)




Ta-da! So polyester-y. So butterfly collar-y. So...70's. What's that Julie? I'm wanted on the Lido deck for cocktail hour with Captain Stubing and celebrity guest stars Charo and Tom Jones? Be right there! I'm just pulling on my tight-fitting polyester shirt then we'll party hardy until we pass out or dock in Puerto Vallarta, whichever comes first!

(Who me, watch too many classic TV reruns? Never.)


Vintage 70's "Love and Kisses" Novelty Print Shirt is offered by seller Wunderbar Vintage.

Atomic Tuesday: Hello, World, Hear The Song That We're Singin'. C'mon Get Happy!

Welcome to Atomic Tuesday! (And yes, I do realise I forgot all about Prints Charming Sunday, sorry 'bout that.)




Fortunately, when scouting around online to find something to post about for our Atomic Tuesday theme, I came across this super cool, super wacky Vintage 50's Atomic Tablecloth with a mystery print of, like, depressed chickens and Turkish lamps (I dunno, I just made that up. I don't even know what Turkish lamps *are*, but I imagine they're something like what's pictured on this) from seller Neato Keen ...









... UNfortunately, for some reason it reminds me of the opening credits of the Partridge Family tv show, which in turn makes the theme song get stuck in my head, and that, my friends, will not make me "get hap-eee!" (I knew that freakshow Danny Bonaduce was demon spawn. I just knew it.)

Knit Wits, Part 3: Meet Me At The Peach Pit

"Tiffany, I figure this is as good a time as any to tell you...I'm gay. Also, I just landed my first real acting gig, playing "Peach Pit Dishwasher #3" on Beverly Hills 90210. If I really prove myself, I may be able to move up to the role of "Brandon Walsh's Sideburn Double". You what they say: you gotta suck a lot of....well, you of all people know how to get ahead in this biz."


"Oh, Rick. I knew it all along. But I also have my own Hollywood plans. I just scored a totally awesome role too, playing "Side Ponytail Stand-In" for Kristy Swanson on some movie about a teenage vampire-slayer. Wicked, right? I guess doing all those splits in a cheerleader skirt finally paid off."

All The Single Ladies? All The Single Ladies!

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip...




Blue: "This Single Ladies Past A Certain Age Boat Trip was a swell idea! A 3 hour tour around an uncharted desert isle with a cast of sexy men that in any real-life situation would be considered untouchable losers? Sign ME up, girlfriend... And who is that tall drink of water with the big shnoz? I call dibs on the skinny one with the nerdy bucket hat! What's his job on the boat, exactly?"

Red: "I think he's in charge of lousing shit up and ruining all attempts of rescue missions. You know, things like shorting out the coconut cream pie walkie talkies and somehow sinking the otherwise-unsinkable homemade bamboo raft that's been held together using 7 years worth of hair clippings. And he's the only one who's capable of getting everyone tied up in a pot of boiling water by the Angry Cannibal Natives that live on the other side of the island, so he's got that going for him."

Blue: "He sounds perfect! You know me: I like 'em long, lean and borderline retarded."

Red: "He's all yours, sweetheart. Now let's see, what piece of man-meat will I be calling mine for the day...Oh sweet merciful crap. Bingo! Break me off a piece of that! I call dibs on the portly, red-nosed one they call the Skipper. You know me: I like 'em fat, angry and borderline abusive."




Many thanks to Bonton Vintage for offering the vintage 50's McCall pattern-o-inspiration!

Come and Knock On Our Door...

Shortly after they heard news that the old broad kicked the bucket, Janet and Chrissy raided Mrs. Roper's wardrobe faster than you can get Jack to put on a pair of daisy dukes. Now that the cougar downstairs was gone, all they were waiting on was the shipment of knee-high socks and terrycloth tube tops to arrive, then the "Mr. Roper & The Girls Next Door" drug-smuggling sex ring could spring into action.





(Thanks to Femme Fatale Vintage for supplying the pattern!)

This is your Captain speaking...

Just a reminder, folks, about June's summer tiki-themed giveaway. The winner will be announced later this evening, so there's still time to sign up- just go to the link below. While you're signing up, please enjoy the musical stylings of Charo on the Lido Deck, where William Shatner will be passing out leis and teaching the hula. Also, the staff here would like to advise against eating the clams today, as we've been informed they may or may not have something to do with the recent outbreak of the Clam Flu. That is all.

Give me free tiki or give me death!

Way-Out Wednesdays: (I Never Promised You A) Rose Garden

What with everyone talking nonstop about their gardens lately, I thought perhaps there was some way to incorporate that into Way-Out Wednesdays. But I didn't have my mojo working (idea dysfunction can happen to anyone, you know. There's a pill for that now, I heard) and I couldn't figure out where exactly to go with that theme, so I almost scrapped the whole ding dang idea. And then my girl over at Somebodys Favourite Girl (AKA Ms De Vil) smacked me upside the head with a great idea: Why not do wonderful (fugly) vintage planters? Mad props to her for getting my mojo back. (Oh, behave.) Done and done. Planters are used in gardening after all and jebus knows there are more than enough ridonkulous ones out there floating around. In fact, I found so many hideous/rad vintage planters that I may have to do a second installment about them. Unless I lose my mojo again or forget.

So for today's Way-Out Wednesday, I bring you the vintage planter that makes you wonder what the fark the maker was thinking. I mean, really. You could pick more attractive things out of your belly button than some of the ones I found. I mean, really. (If you've ever wondered what I would look like if I was a male owl planter, you'll find out below. That one is made of awesome and I really want it. I love you, grumpy owl planter.) So not all of these are total abominations of the ceramics world, some are kinda cool in their way. (But you know, still fug.)

(Warning: I maybe went a little overboard (who, me?!) and this is probably the most bandwithiest, picture-heavy post yet. I couldn't stop. I have a problem.)



Swine Flu Dog would like you to know that he now comes with his own barf bucket.





Sexual Deviant Giraffe would like you to know that he would like it very much if you kicked him the balls before planting anything in him.





Cross-Dressing Squirrel would like you to know that just because you caught him in a compromising position of applying his mother's lipstick when you walked in on him in the basement while he had a fat girl trapped at the bottom of a well, that he is not gay.




Extremely Angry Squirrel would like you to know he's not putting up with any more shit from you or your plants today.






BJ Cat would like you to know that your face really can freeze that way.





Indifferent Owl would like you to know he is not amused by your choice of plant, but doesn't really care one way or the other what you plant in him anyway, so whatever.





Harem Girl from New York wants you to know that she wants you to go fuck yourself and then fuggedaboudit.





Burn Victim Clown would like you to know that he swears he wasn't the one who hunted the kids of Elm Street and that he was burned to death in the school's furnace for no reason. But he's not mad or planning on getting his revenge on the entire town, so you should trust him and come see what he has hidden for you inside his drum.






Tony the Pervert would like you to know he's got somethin' real important to give you: it's his dick on a box.





"(I Never Promised You A) Rose Garden" by Lynn Anderson.

White And Nerdy

I almost forgot to celebrate the nation's other holiday that happens today~ the day of my people, my homies, my nerdlingtons...Freaks and geeks, lend me your ears, for today is Geek/Nerd Pride Day! Not all nerds wear pants that are too short, taped-up glasses and carry protractors, nay, we've cast off the shackles of dork cliches and come in many forms. Yeah, yeah, we all think about dorks like Urkel or Bill Gates right away, but we're so much more than that. To honor this day of kings, here's a mini homage that I just made up off the top of my head of outcasts and unconventional nerds that helped pave the way for the rest of us:


Cartoon nerd!


Wonder Years nerds!


Head of the Class nerds!


Weird Science nerds!


Duckie the nerd!


16 Candles nerds!


Mork the nerd!



And me, the biggest dork of them all. Seriously. I'm just going incognito in this pic. My pocket protector is in the shop.

And for you hardcore, vintage nerds, here's a vintage 60's tie for you, complete with math equations. It's almost painfully nerdy, isn't it? Geek love!



And for your entertainment this evening, enjoy the best scene of Revenge of the Nerds, the lamest rap and also the best rap of all time, and don't think I'm not going to try to find this song for my ring tone, because I totally am. That's how we dorks roll.




"White and Nerdy" by Weird Al.