Saturday, May 23, 2009

Hot Dog

With Memorial Day right around the corner, I thought it'd be swell to post some of my favorite vintage finds to go with this weekend's patriotic and picnic-y theme. Come to think of it, I haven't done a theme in a while! I love themes!! Alot! And superfluous exclamation points!! I assume most of you are spending the next few days having picnics, bbq's, random virgin sacrificing or whateverthehell else happy fun people do on Memorial Day weekends? I figured you would be.

Vintage 50's patriotic heels from Black Raven Vintage. I love heels that can put an eye out.

Very cool little WW11-era 40's (dated 1942) plastic cavalry hat & bugle pin from Pattycakes Plunder. I wish I knew what the story behind this pin was, I bet it was something somehow sad and sweet. Aww.

Early 40's cold rayon picnic plaid men's shirt by Mohawk Sportswear- and it's new old stock! Available from me at Fast Eddie's Retro Rags.

And for your kitsch pleasure, a set of vintage 60's Heinz ketchup plastic salt and pepper shakers. I love things that look like one thing but are meant for another thing.

And one of my favorite 50's bbq-themed things yet, this awesome shish kebab novelty print linen tablecloth. This is so one of those things that should be made into another thing. What a kickass skirt (or something wearable) this would make. Crafty peeps, get on it! Also, has anyone ever made a shish kebab with olives and sunnyside-up eggs? That's unpossible. And disturbing.

"Hot Dog" by Buck Owens.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Lust For Life

The financial upswing of post-war, 1950's America enabled many households to have all the modern conveniences they could dream of, leaving for some listless housewives who, out of boredom and empty bottles of peach Schnapps, were discovering a newly born desire to walk on the wild side.


Red Dress: (Dialing number)..."Hello? Is this 867-5309? It is?...Is "Jenny" there?!" (hangs up) I'm such a card, aren't I?

Blue Dress: Lemme do it! Lemme do it! (dialing)..."Hello? Hoopers General Store? Yes, do you have Prince Albert in a can? You do? Well let him out!" (hangs up) Ahahahahaha! Oh boy. What a hoot!

Red Dress: My turn! (dialing)..."Hi, Mrs. Anderson. I was just your refrigerator running? It is? Then you better go catch it!" (hangs up) Ah ha ha ha! MAN, I feel so alive! What a RUSH! You know what we should do now? Let's be totally naughty! Let's hop in our convertible, wear cowboy hats and rob a liquor store!

Blue Dress: Yeah! And let's shack up with a hot hitchhiker who turns out to be a young Brad Pitt! And let's blow shit up! And let's use trucker lingo like "little beavers"! And let's drive over a cliff to our deaths! Yay! Best friends forever!

"Lust for Life" by Iggy Pop.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Way-Out Wednesday: That Touch of Mink

While searching through vintage furs for research not too long ago, I got sidetracked, naturally, and discovered a whole other realm of vintage fur... hmm..."things". In the 1940's, 50's and 60's, furs like mink and sable were in their heyday, being the fancy-pants fur of choice, coveted by everyday housewife types like Lucy and Ethel and rocked by Hollywood starlets like Doris Day. These days it's all very un PC and uncool to wear fur, but I say if the animal kicked the bucket decades ago, why the hell not wear it now, so it's death wasn't in vain, or whatever? Stupid hairy hippie girls ruin everything. I might not personally be a fan of fur, not for any ethical or moral reason- hell, I'd bedazzle a set of moose balls and wear 'em as earmuffs if I had to- but because just looking at it makes me feel itchy and sneezy. Totally a mental reject I am, I know. But far be it for me to hold back any chick who can wear a fur stole with a sequin cocktail dress and party like it's 1959.


Or guy. Whatever. What do I care if a guy wants to wear fur? (Ed Wood, you marvelous scamp, you.)

So naturally in the 50's and 60's, along with full-length coats, capes and stoles, luxe touches of fur like mink were incorporated into smaller and more affordable items like on earrings and pins. I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I think doing so made it somehow...creepy looking? Maybe I'm a freak or maybe I just found some especially farked-up examples. Either way, you might agree that the following minktastic accessories are farther from glam and closer to mutant. But you know, in a fancy way.

Please enjoy the following vintage 50's & 60's mink fur accessories. Jebus help us all. (Each pic is clickable to go to the seller's listing.)

Vintage mink pin. Nothing quite says "I'm a sexy bitch" than a furry flower. (Also, I can think of about a million disgusting things to say about that, but I will refrain.)

Oh, HELL no. I'm sorry animal lovers, but if I saw this in my house, I couldn't reach for a trap fast enough. Look at it's stabby metal tail. Ick. Oh god. Gross.

"Midge? The damn cat hacked up another fur ball again, get me a paper towel! Oh wait. Nevermind! It's just your sweater clip!"

Oh. Good. Lord. I mean, what is...seriously, who would...come ON, is that...I can't...I just can't...

Monday, May 18, 2009

Memphis Soul Stew

Welcome to another addition to Vintage Giveaway! This month's month's giveaway is a vintage 50's square "card table" tablecloth with a kitschy cute little embroidered soup bowl & spoon.


Oh, and a random fork. Yep. A fork. Just because. It's made out of soft white cotton, feedsack-ish. Measures 33" wide and 32" down, which is a little odd but if anyone can sashay the hell out of it, it's you guys. (And yeah, I totally said "sashay" because apparently I'm RuPaul.)


If you're all like, "Who plays cards? And who uses a tablecloth to play cards, any damn way? Nerd.", then you crafty types could probably rock it into something cool and upcycled like you do, maybe a pillow or a skirt? A little kitchen curtain would be swell, too. Whatever. Wear it on your head if you want, what do I care.

How it works: As usual all are welcome to sign up- first time posters, regular posters, old winners, old losers, everyone- and it won't cost you a dime. Free vintage crapola is my recession ass-kicker present to you. If you'd like to enter the contest, leave me a comment that you'd like to enter -or- if you can always drop me an email and let me know that way. I'll write everyone's name down and draw a very random name from a hat and post the winner in a week from now, on the 26th.

Note: I'd love a picture if you do take the tablecloth and use it as something else! Or as a regular ol' tablecloth. I'll do a blog post about your artsy fartsiness with a link to your blog/website/favorite meat wholesaler/whateverthehell. Free advertising for craftiness!

"Memphis Soul Stew" by King Curtis. Go funk yourself.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Weird Science

It's been a weird week, to say the least, which is why I've been slack on posting vintage finds and general bitching about absolutely nothing. I won't go into all the boring details, but I will mention 2 Movie Cliche things that happened that made this past week "just one of those weeks". You know the kind, right? Where everything goes wrong/breaks and/or annoys the hell out of you? And how come my madcap hijinks never end with a hilariously slapstick outcome, a la I Love Lucy? I must be doing it wrong. (I said "doing it". Hey, it's been a while. Cut a gal some slack.)

1.) I have a newly broken window, trashed by a kid playing baseball. How cliche is that?! I thought that kind of hokey "aww, shucks" crap only happens in freaking Mayberry, but no. Wiffle balls really do break big ol' round holes in windows. However, unlike on Leave it to Beaver, it is neither cute nor fun like they make it seem on TV. I didn't once say anything along the lines of "Gee whiz, Billy, you keep hitting like that and the boys in the Big Leagues will be giving you a call! Lemonade and snickerdoodles, anyone?" There is, however, a blue streak of curses still hanging in mid-air over the roof of my house that could bring a tear to a sailor's eye. (Also, a question: Why do sailors get the blame for being notorious curse-word-sayers? Does the rest of the population not also say swears alot? I am not a sailor, the last time I checked. If anyone has the back story, let me know, 'k?) So today I'm stuck driving around to find a place that does does glass replacement, in hopes that it doesn't cost a million doubloons to replace an 11 x 7.5 rectangle of glass to fit in a 60-year-old window frame. Monday rules.

2.) Also in the week of Home Repair Land, I have a newly leaky pipe from the washing machine in the basement that has gone to a "drip...drip...drip" to a much more significant and ill-tempered "I said drip drip, dammit-drip drip". Perhaps it would have been much more cutesy had the pipe exploded and there was soap suds everywhere and there was a cutesy romantic smooch amongst the bubbles and foam and then we'd laugh because we didn't even realise we were soaking wet with a mound of foam on our heads and everyone lived happily ever after, but no. Again, there were many swears to be heard, boxes may have been kicked and phone call to dear ol' Dad, frantic for help to come and fix it all tonight. So screw you, Disney Channel, Parent Trap, and every movie that has a word that rhymes with "Montana" or "Hannah". Your fakey movie endings are bogus.

A few orders of blog-y business:

1.) I'll be posting May's Vintage Giveaway this week, most likely tomorrow, so keep your eye out for it. Or don't. It's monday and I'm in a bad mood already. Yay for this week!

2.) Newly listed and sneak peek vintage picks are also gonna be posted this week as well. It's been waaay too long, so it's time to pick up the vintage fashion end of things again!

2.) Someone sent this to me but has no idea where it came from. Going by the "straat" on the sign, I would imagine this came from some Norwegian-y/German-y/Netherlands-y type country. Talk about generalising about a huge span of countries into one. I could fact check with Google, but ehh. Whatever. I think the Sesame Street Gang pretty much has to become the mascots of The Girl Can't Help It at this point.


"This week is brought to you by the letters "F" and "U".

"Weird Science" by Oingo Boingo.