For our last (?) (there's that infernal question mark again) Holiday Horrors, I though a cheerful vintage album cover would be just great. And I mean cheerful. Painfully cheery. Like, crack-induced happiness.
If there's one thing that bugs the bejesus outta me, it's people who insist their happiness upon you. With song. And sometimes jazz hands. But this kind of happiness is usually always for show, because you just know they're getting all Bing Crosby on their families behind the scenes. Is it just me, or does it seem like their names should be, like, Carol and Bob? Or maybe that's just what their stage names are. Something nice and stupid. But look at their faces! Who knew singing would be so orgasmic? Had I known that, I'd have spread some damn Christmas spirit long ago. On second thought, singing carols in public makes me the exact opposite of cheerful. "Murderous rampage" some might say. I'll save the drug-addled singing to the pros. Take it away, Carol and Bob! No really. Take it away.
Happiest People Alive, Carol and Bob, can be heard on this Vintage "Favorite Christmas Carols" album, currently available on Etsy from seller Johnny Vintage.
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