I can't even get begin to think of witty repartee for today's pick...I just can't...no words... Seriously, there's not a word in the English (or Elvish or Klingon) language to describe the fuckuppery that's going with today's vintage pick. I mean, good gawd. It's terrifying. It may be having a stroke. And it's totally freaking awesome.
I give you...
the Vintage Sweet Adeline "Singing" Barbershop Head Ashtray:
Sweet....jebus... To be clear, it doesn't actually sing. Apparently the "stroke victim/borderline retarded face" is supposed to *look* like it's singing. But here's where the awesome happens: That creepy-ass, gaping, stroke victim mouth is an ashtray. OHMYGODILOVEITSOMUCHITHINKI'MHAVINGASTROKEMYSELF--WAIT A SEC,IJUSTSAID"STROKEMYSELF"AHAHAHAHA.
But wait! There's more freakish goodness -- If you rest your cigarette on his lip, smoke will rise up and come OUT OF HIS EARS. It almost makes me wish I still smoked! But really, it doesn't matter if you smoke or not, because something this grotesquely fantastic would look just as nightmare-inducing sitting the shelf even without smoke wafting from his ear holes.
Vintage "Sweet Adeline Ashtray" is currently available on Etsy from seller Soul Man Vintage for a super decent price. But guess what? She just happens to have an alternative to the Stroke Victim Ashtray for sale, if that one doesn't do it for you. But don't worry. It's just as sexy. Behold:
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