Thursday, December 31, 2009


...Happy New Year!

Just wanted to wish to everyone a swanktastic New Year's eve! Party like it's 2009. I for one will be a tv zombie, watching the Twilight Zone marathon that plays this time on the the SciFi channel every year. I'm a nutbag for that hot piece-o-manmeat called "early 60's William Shatner" who starred in a few of the episodes.

Behold the Shatner deliciousness, in one of my favorite TZ episodes called "Nick of Time", where the Shat and his wife get stuck in a small town while their car is being fixed and he gets addicted to a fortune-telling machine in the town's diner.

Hello, lover.

Have a happy stinkin' New Year, my lovelies! Here's hoping 2010 sucks a little less than 2009 did. Cheers!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Way-Out Wednesday~ Before They Were Famous: Princess Leia.

It's the last Way-Out Wednesday of the year, my little sugarplums! And what better way to celebrate it than with a "New Year's" theme? (Mass amounts of booze is better. A smorgasbord of cheese and cocktail weenie appetizers is better. Even popping a couple Nyquils and sleeping through the whole depressing night is better. OK, you know what? Let's move on already.)

"I am sent to wish you Luck.
Meet the New Year
with lots of Pluck!
'Cuz I'm the nurse who likes to F..."

Before she made it big in Hollywood, a young Princess Leia worked the Sunset Strip as a Traveling Naughty Telegram delivery girl. It was a dark time for the Skywalker family.

Vintage 1914 New Year's Postcard, available from Etsy seller Sharon Foster Vintage.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Atomic Tuesday: Kiss My Ash.

It's Atomic Tuesday, kiddies!

And this week's atomic find is this Vintage Set of 2 Star Glow by Royal China Ashtrays.

Political correctness, to hell with you I say! I love vintage ashtrays and collect them when I can score them for a song and a dance, which is becoming less frequent these days it seems. Has smoking gotten such a bad rep that people just throw out their old ashtrays, assuming no one smokes anymore? Firstly, I would never use an ashtray as cool as this, with it's starburst-y goodness, as an actual ashtray. It's just too cool to be schmutzed up. But if anyone else chose to, go right ahead, what the hell do I care? Smoke 'em if you got 'em, I say. Secondly, do people forget that you need not be a smoker to like vintage ashtrays? They have a plethora of other uses, such as holding spare change and that random key or single button that you just can't bring yourself to throw out because you just know one day you'll find the shirt that's missing that very same button and you'll eventually figure out that the key is actually a spare you had made because you kept losing them to your '86 Honda Civic, which you haven't even owned for 15 years but what a great feeling it is to finally figure it out and throw it away after all this time. You see where I'm going with this, right?

Monday, December 28, 2009

Knit Wits, Part 6: Dear John

Ok... let's see what I've written so far:

"Dear John,
By the time you read this, I will be gone. Wait. No, not like that! I'm not killing myself over you, you big dumb idiot. I mean gone to Reno! I'm leaving you, in case you're too drunk by now to figure that out, super genius. Remember all those nights I said I was down at the bingo hall with my sister Margaret? Yeeaah...more like we were working the night shift at the Kitty Kat strip club. You couldn't imagine how much a twin sister act kills around there! Why else would I come home smelling like Budweiser and rage? Furthermore, how did you think I was able to buy us the luxuries we've had around the house, like sliced Wonder bread? You actually think your pitiful workers comp checks from that time an Acme anvil disguised as a bag of feathers fell out of a 6th story window onto your head are paying the bills?! I don't think so, buddy. Oh! And one more thing: you know how you always said that our little Johnny looks more like your brother than you? Yeeaah,...about that. We need to talk.


Yep. That about covers it.

Vintage 50's Sweater Pattern currently available from Vintage Pattern House.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Prints Charming Sunday: Stormy Weather

Welcome to this week's Prints Charming Sunday!

I trust you all had a smashing holiday? Me too! Though, the weekend's been weird, weather-wise, and a bit of a Christmas bummer. We northeasterners were supposed to get ice and sleet, instead it got really warm and rainy. And it's supposed to be crazy cold again this week. What the balls, mother nature? You jerk. Feels more like spring 'round these parts than winter and I gotta say, it makes me pretty stabby. So instead, I'll just ignore it all and eat another Christmas cookie and then bitch about it later that my ass won't cram into my acid-washed Sassoons. (See the joy and mirth in store for you in the future?!)

So to go along with our bi-polar weather, check out this wicked cute Vintage 60's Rain Drop Novelty Print Vinyl Cape. Not only am I bringing comfortable-albeit-fashionably-retarded Mom Jeans back, I'm bringing capes back too.

Cape currently available on Etsy from Empress Jade Vintage.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Mambo Santa Mambo

Just wanted to pop in here today and wish everyone a very Merry Christmas! Since, like most of you, tomorrow will be a day for family, friends and food. Needless to say I won't be posting my usual Aqua Blue Friday theme. I know. I see that lonely teardrop falling from your eye. It'll be OK, I promise.

And, like most of you, I'm sure you're all sick to death of hearing the same ol' Christmas songs at the mall, at Target, on the radio, etc. over and over and over. So if you get bored of (or extremely annoyed with or want to kill) your family tomorrow and need to get the hell away from them for a while, I'm sharing a few of my favorite "non-traditional" holiday songs for you to listen to/watch on YouTube clips. As much as I adore the Christmas classics from Elvis, Bing, Sinatra, Dean Martin, Johnny Cash etc., sometimes a girl just needs to rock out. Enjoy!

Merry Christmas, happy winter solstice, happy whateverthehellitisyoudoordonotcelebrate! See you all back on regular schedule this Sunday!

"Fairytale of New York" by the Pogues. A little depressing, a little angry, all Irish and totally cool. (It rocks out at the 1:25 mark.)

"Merry Christmas (I don't Want to Fight Tonight)" by the Ramones. (Starts to rock at the 0:35 mark.)

"Oi to the World" by the Vandals." Don't judge. Google the lyrics if you don't already know them. It has a great message.

"Christmas in Hollis" by Run DMC. Set to a Charlie Brown Christmas. Genius.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Way-Out Wednesday: Run, Run, Rudolph. Then Stop, Drop and Roll, Rudolph!

Welcome to Way-Out Wednesday, Holiday Horrors edition!

Fire Safety Week took an unexpected and ironic turn this week at the North Pole, when Santa's pipe got a little too close to Rudolph's fur. Eyewitness accounts say it was like Three Mile Island, only the air smelled like Kentucky Fried Chicken. Firefighters report that when finding the charred remains of the reindeer, they were completely confused as to why his balls were on his chin. Santa is in stable condition however, with all body parts properly in place, though he does has an insatiable appetite for KFC. There is one ray of hope in this gruesome mess: A new job position has just opened up in the Flight Team department. No experience necessary; inquire within.

Vintage Dog (ohmygod, it's a dog?!) Ornament, available from Etsy seller Goodlookin' Vintage.

Monday, December 21, 2009

The Re-Gift That Keeps On Giving

Bitchy Teen Mouse didn't get the pink glitter iPod with pony stickers she wanted for Christmas. So Bitchy Teen Mouse shows you exactly what she thinks of your fruitcake and homemade socks.

*Vintage 1974 Christmas Mouse Ornament Kit available from Etsy seller Shopjude.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Prints Charming Sunday: Like 2 Peas In A Pod

Welcome to Prints Charming Sunday!

Today's novelty print pick is this too-cool Vintage Donald Brooks Pea Pod Print Coat.

How great is that?! It's the pea pod-iest! You never really expect your outerwear to have a novelty print, and then a rockin' one like this comes along and you think "how come come there aren't more jackets with novelty prints on them? What up with THAT, designers?" (And for the record, I hate that I just used the word "outerwear".)

Jacket currently available from Jody at Couture Allure Vintage.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Aqua Blue Heaven Friday: Deco The Halls

Welcome to (not-quite) Aqua Blue Heaven Friday! Today's vintage pick isn't aqua. But there is blue in it and there is green in it, so if you mash 'em together in your head, they'll make aqua. Ish. Why no aqua today? What's it to ya?, that's why no aqua today. Plus, you'll drop dead with love when you see today's pick, so much so that you won't even care that I'm breaking today's theme rules. You know, if I had theme rules.

Behold! The kickass-ness that is called this Vintage 30's Art Deco Fabric!

Is it not too cool? It's a big hunka chunka piece-o-fabric too, so you could make all sorts of stuff to class up your joint! Curtains? Nah. Pillows? Nah. Whisky bottle cozies? Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Beer bottle cozies would also be accepted, but man, how gauche.

Vintage fabric currently available from Northstar Vintage.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Only I Didn't Say "Fudge". I Said Thee Word.

I'm a big fan of traditions- making them or carrying on with old ones. And every year around Christmas it's a tradition to visit a particular candy shop in a small town where I grew up, a candy store I've been going to since I was a kid. It's changed ownership and store names over the years but it's one constant is remaining a candy store. The shop is small, with large front windows and has been in the same old, turn-of-the-century brick building for decades. The charming kind of place with deep roots in the town's history that you'd find in just about any small (old) town, USA.

Anyway, I stopped by last week and lo and behold, they have a Christmas Story theme in one of the windows! I'm sure many of you have a special place in your hearts for a Christmas Story- I sure as hell do! How could you not? And as I'm sure it is in your homes, here it's been a tradition for the past few years to have the movie on tv all day in the background on Christmas day, thanks to the 24 hour marathon on TBS. (Side note: Can you imagine the residuals the actors are getting from the movie being played 24 hours straight?! And if they don't, they're getting screwed.)

I took some pics of my small town shop & it's windows, just for Christmas-y fun! The pics aren't great, but whatever. It's the thought that counts, right?

Front of the shop. Obviously. The Christmas Story window is on the right.

The display is small, but so cute! There's a box that says Fragile ("Fra-JEE-lay. That must be Italian!"), a vintage table & tablecloth with the infamous leg lamp on top. On the right side of the table is a retro bar of Lifebuoy soap and a replica of Ralphie's glasses. And of course "Ol' Blue"- the Red Ryder bb gun on the floor!

From inside the candy store, looking at the display from behind.

But also sitting on the table was this:

It says "Certificate of Authenticity. Original piece of "A Christmas Story" house, signed by the owner, Brian Jones.

And I'm all, "who the balls is Brian Jones?!" So I researched it, and apparently the original house in the movie was auctioned on ebay (ebay! oy.) Did you know any of this? Because I did not. The house sold to a Christmas Story superfan named Brian Jones, who then took the house- which looked like THIS:

Oh sweet jebus. The horror! It's nice and all, but come ON...

...And restored it back to it's "original" 1930's condition, the way it looked in the movie:

Ta-da! How freaking awesome is that? Of course, there's also open house tours, a museum, booking for people to get married there- he preserved it into a huge empire of childhood memory fun! Like what Disney turned into. Only there's no eternal contract with the devil.

He did keep the original beat-up mailbox, and I love that he did.

If you want to see more pictures of the house or get info on tours or whatnot, you can visit the website at!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Way-Out Wednesday: Dude, Where's My Sleigh?

Proof that Santa does, in fact, hate hippies as his employees:

Yellow Pom Pom: "Dude. Where'd we park the sleigh last night? And what...what the hell? What is this? Am I wearing a Snuggie?!"

Red Pom Pom: "Uh oh...You know those, uhh, like, those "magical pixie mushrooms" we swiped from the drunk hooker passed out behind the Peppermint Pole strip club? I think they somehow ended up in the brownies we made. That we then left on the doorstep of Mrs. Claus' house. You know, next to the flaming bag of reindeer poop."

Yellow: "Am I wearing this Snuggie backwards?"

Red: "Remember those blow-up dolls we made in the workshop-OH MY GOD I HAVE BUTTONS FOR EYES! I'm freaking out, man!"

Yellow: "Does it look like I'm wearing a dress? Because I feel like a really gay Charlie Brown right now, in my striped sweater dress and matching Snuggie."


(Vintage Handknit Christmas Peeps from Divine Debris Vintage.)

Atomic Tuesday: What A Card!

Welcome to Atomic Tuesday!

Today's pick is this set of Retro Mid-Century Modern Atomic Holiday Cards~ it even says "Wishing You a Very Hip Holiday Season" inside! These cards are made by Etsy seller Two Poodle Press. I really dig these cards, in all their unconventional Xmas-iness. (If you replaced the pink with orange, they'd be in my all-time favorite color scheme, FYI.)

And for extra matchy-matchy, she also offers these matching gift tags. Swell!

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Knit Wits, Part 5: A Very Brady Manslaughter

Mike Brady is in deep thought, wondering if his sideburns are perfectly symmetrical and if this sweater makes him look a little too gay, while ignoring Cindy and the imminent plunge to her death from the 2nd story window. Kitty Karryall is safely indoors, so at least it's not a total loss.

Vintage 60's Sweater Pattern currently available from Etsy seller PrairieWool.)

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Prints Charming Sunday: Pine For It

For this Prints Charming Sunday, get a load of this Vintage 40's Pinecone Novelty Print Rayon Dress.

It's such a perfect print for the season! Could you not just die from awesomeness?! Or at least get temporarily paralyzed? I could! Then again, I could get paralyzed by a bag of Fritos and a Cherry Coke.

The dress is currently available from my amiga Maggie of Denisebrain. Not only does Maggie consistently offer top-notch vintage, but she's donating 25% of the final sale price of this dress to Conservation Northwest, an organization that protects and preserves forests along the Washington state coast. And as much you guys know I slag on greenies and, like, people with causes or whatever, I'll always support wildlife conservation and give props when props are due! Even if you are a treehugger, Maggie. ;)

Friday, December 11, 2009

Aqua Blue Heaven Friday: The Wreath Of Khan.

Welcome to Aqua Blue Heaven Friday! In keeping with the holiday theme around here, this friday's pick-o-aqua splendor is one of my most favorites so far this xmas- the wreath. But no ordinary, boring-ass, traditional, humdrum wreath. These are full of space-agey, clever, atomic-ish, creative, retrotastic, cosmic, unconventional goodness! (That's a little much, I know. Just roll with it.)

All of these wreaths are homemade by crafty bitches on Etsy, and they are fanTAStic. (See how I even showed the emphasis on "fantastic"? That's how you know I'm serious.) Most of these wreaths use upcycled vintage bits & pieces, like glass ornaments & aluminum stars. An ingenious idea, really, to use all those Shiny Brites sitting around that might be scratched up, and all those kitschy/tacky vintage Xmas plastic figurines and whatnot. Hell, I've literally got cases of Shiny Brites to use up. Such a simple idea, yet so cool! (I'm SO stealing this idea this winter, when stuck inside, you'll see!)


Green Peacock Feather Wreath.

Crepe Paper Flowers Wreath.

Tinsel Wreath with Presents & Pinecones.

Pink Tinsel & Vintage Ornaments Wreath.

Vintage Bottle Brush Wreath with Deer.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Way-Out Wednesday: Bad Santa.

Disgruntled Santa left you a little something.

But you don't want the gift Disgruntled Santa dropped down the chimney this year Trust me. You really don't want it.

(Vintage Santa in Chimney Ornament is currently for sale from Vintagegoodies.)