The Godmother of Pole

"And you thought we'd have to quit stripping after we got pregnant! Ha! These elastic waistbands are PERFECT for holding in the dollar bills. Girl, you are WORKING that pole. Well, I'm off. Bob from church is waiting for a lap dance in the Pussy Galore room. See you at lamaze tomorrow!"





*Thanks to Tokul Vintage for providing the pattern!

Hallween Friday: The Witch Is Back

It's Halloween Friday! Today's theme is the witch. I find the history of witches fascinating, who knows, maybe I was one in a previous life. Probably not a good one, either. A powerful & intelligent woman must obviously have something wrong with her and therefore is a threat. And must die. Not in a humane way either, hells no. We must torture her along the way, so it sends a message to women everywhere not to be different from the crowd and to never speak out of line. Yay! Damn women. Who do we think we are?



So for today's theme I went straight to Etsy, where I knew the crafty witches there would surely have something fitting for me to feature. And there are a buttload of witch crafts to witch jewelry to witch soap to witch skirts to vintage witch things, enough to make your head spin. So much so that it got frustrating, looking at the Halloween things and wondering what direction I wanted to take the blog out for a spin in. Did I want to do an all-vintage theme? That would leave me pretty much with nothing but witch candy bags from the 80's and plastic wall decorations. Meh. Did I want to do a clothing theme? Unless you want to see witch-print tulle tu-tu skirts for 4 year olds, that wasn't gonna fly. (HA! Get it? Sigh.) I almost gave up on the whole damn project. When I start to take things too seriously, it's time to chill the funk out and back the frick off.

But then I came across a seller called BeBop Moon and knew instantly I wanted to show her handmade charm bracelets. They're definitely not too serious! A little kitschy, a bit whimsical and I bet they'll totally make you feel like you're 10 again.

I adore charm bracelets to begin with- the more noisy, jangly crap hanging off of them, the better. I love these Halloween bracelets so hard, it hurts. Hopefully you guys will like 'em too! If you don't... well... you're all a bunch of witches. Here's hoping you enjoy!

Snow Happens

Due to unseasonably cold temperatures and this afternoon's freak snow, it's not looking very much like Autumn in the Pocono Mountains. At all. In fact, look at what that back-stabbing mother nature did to mah garden (which was still going strong until today):



The petunias are toast.




I know what you're thinking: "aww, how purdy are those mums"...




...sonofabitch!




More mums. Muerte.




My nuts. Let me show you them.




Ferns losing their ferny green glow.




My ornamental grass, fuki plants and what's left of the morning glories have bought the farm and a one-way ticket to Deadsville.




Magic mushrooms minus the magic.




Possessed Squirrel laughs at you silly humans and eats your nuts.




Pink Flamingo isn't putting up with any more shit today.

O Captain! My Captain...Lou!

As most of you have heard, 80's wrestling kitsch sensation, Captain Lou Albano passed away yesterday at the age of 76. His wrestling career started in the 50's, gained momentum in the 60's as part of a tag team called "The Sicilians", rockin' the Italian cliches as their schtick (awesome), and by the 80's he was known as "Captain Lou Albano". Plus, he rocked a Hawaiian shirt like nobody's business!

Honestly, I don't even like wrestling, whether real or that fake WWF stuff. But I will remember him in the only way I know how: from his Cyndi Lauper days. I have sparse memories of him from the 80's, when I was a wee lass. But I recall his guest appearance in Cyndi Lauper's Girls Just Want to Have Fun video, playing her uptight father. I guess their bond was very tight and very real, because there used to be a rumor going around that they were really father and daughter. (Not true, of course.) Fact-o-rama: that video won the first ever award for Best Female Video at the 1984 Video Music Awards on MTV.

Captain Lou also appeared in Cyndi's video for The Goonies "R" Good Enough--I didn't know there was a video for the song until I bought the dvd of The Goonies movie. There's an option on the dvd to play her video and I was all "say WHA?". It's incredibly cheesy- terrible, even- but in a good way. I couldn't find any decent stills, so here's the video, chock full of crappy acting, kickass vintage clothing from the 50's & 60's, and of course, Captain Lou:




And from their very sweet photo shoot for Life magazine, September 1984:

Way-Out Wednesday: Man Caves Need Curtains Too

This week's Way-Out Wednesday is all for the guys! Well, mostly. What I'm talking about is novelty print fabric~ but manly! *Do the Tool Time grunt here* While I know we female types really dig our girlie fabric and cutesy-tootsy prints, what about the guys? Don't their Man Caves and Dens of Testosterone and Rumpus Rooms de Machismo deserve to be well-decorated too? I'm sure The Mister wouldn't want curtains with, say, ballerinas on them. You know what they say: real men don't wear pink. Or cook. Or eat quiche. Or hang ballerina-print curtains. No! They want their curtains to reflect their inner cave man. You know, I'm assuming.

So while today's theme may not necessarily be "way out", I think men and women alike will appreciate this slightly kooky fabric that's geared mostly towards the... rugged woodsmen?...or whatever manly job men dream about having...in every man.




Vintage 50's Fishing Lures Novelty Print Fabric, for your Inner Fisherman.





Vintage 50's Book Novelty Print Fabric, for your Inner History Professor.





Vintage 70's Musical Instruments Novelty Print Fabric, for your Inner Jazz Musician. (Shout-out to Bill Cosby, who I just envisioned saying "jazz musician"!)




Vintage 50's Hunting Novelty Print Barkcloth, for your Inner Hunter, 'natch.





Vintage 50's Horse Racing Novelty Print Fabric from Fuzzylizzie, for your Inner...Horse Track Gambling Addict?





Vintage 50's Cards & Dice Novelty Print Fabric, for your Inner...Sleazy Guy Named "Pal" or "Buddy" or "Tony" With A Pencil Mustache Who Hangs Out at the Local Pool Hall and Wears His Shirt Half Unbuttoned With A Gold Chain And Drives A 1973 Pontiac Firebird.

Atomic Tuesday: Sonic Boom

Howdy, kids! It's Atomic Tuesday once again! I had an entirely different theme picked out for today, but then I saw this piece-o-awesomeness and knew I had to post about today. Not only is this really cool, but I can't believe I found it on Etsy of all places! (I don't really associate Etsy with large pieces of furniture, then again, I don't exactly go scouting for it online, either!)

Behold, the joy that is called the Vintage 50's 2-Tiered Boomerang Table. The seller is calling it "Danish Modern", though there's no mention of maker in the listing, so think of that what you will. I have a 50's rectangle coffee table and matching 2-tiered end table set that look identical to this- same blondwood, same legs, etc. and it's as generic as the day is long. In fact, true story: I got the 3 pieces- for free-from a neighbor who had it out on their sidewalk for trash pickup! I snuck over there in the middle of the night and took them. Even though they were throwing them out, I felt all kinds of sneaky and wrong about it. But I got over it.


And lo, I say unto thee yet again, behold!:

Prints Charming Sunday: Leaf It To Me

Apparently I love themes way too much, have an abundance of time on my hands, am a glutton for punishment or the voices in my head are clocking in overtime, because I decided to start a brand new weekly theme around here called "Prints Charming Sundays"! What is it, you're probably not even asking? Prints Charming Sundays will showcase a different vintage novelty print each week. Everyone adores a whimsical or kitschy novelty print and having it on Sundays seems like a good way to end the weekend. That, and booze. Lots and lots of booze.

So to kick off the 1st Sunday of novelty prints is this rockin' Vintage 50's Autumn Leaf Blouse from Art Deco Dame. So fab for fall!