Surfin' Bird

Just a teaser to let you know that tomorrow I'll be posting the goods for June's Vintage Giveaway. Yay! Joy! Rapture! Wanna know what the giveaway is? Well too bad, I'm not telling until tomorrow! But here's a hint:



Can you guess from that seemingly random picture of the Brady Bunch in Hawaii? What do you mean no? I'm so disappointed in your lack of guessing skills. In the meantime, pass the poi mahalo and enjoy some time with the Bradys.



Look at that stupid weenie Bobby and his conch bong.




That Mr. Brady, he sure is a shiny piece of permed, polyester ass. He puts the ho in Don Ho. Also, this is why men should never wear flip flops. Not even on the beach. Men should wear socks and boots at all times and never should a flash of foot be seen. Except you, Mike Brady. You and your smart, knit twin sets can wear flip flips anytime you want.




Speaking of stupid fashion choices, you know, it's really a good thing the boys packed their tight corduroy slacks, long sleeve denim blouses and double knit Dacron sweaters on their vacation to go spelunking in a tiki cave by themselves like a bunch of naive dumbasses that they are in the middle of the jungle. In the dead of summer. In Hawaii. God, I forgot how much I hate the stupid Brady family.





"Surfin' Bird" by The Trashmen

My Aqua Blue Heaven

Well, it's Friday and I don't know about you guys, but it's been a particularly long and rather on the craptacular side and weird sort of week. Hows about some vintage aqua crap to get this partay started? Good. No chatty, just the facts. Enough with the blahbity-blah already, let's rock and/or roll.

This is gonna be another long one~ (that's what she wishes she said) with a whole lotta pictures going on. I think today may be even more bandwithier than my last post. I'm getting out of hand and must be stopped.

Today's Aqua Blue Heaven theme is serve ware- dish sets, platters and serving dishes. Joy! Fun for the houesewifey types, boring for the menfolk here, I bet. (Don't worry, fellers- I'm planning on a manly theme for you coming up soon, so you male types can go back to watching your ping pong matches or Field and Stream magazines or dry humping your Bo Derek posters or whatever it is that you do.)




Vintage 50's Sycamore Pattern Serving Plates by Franciscan China.





Vintage 50's California Mobile Poppytrail Pattern Chop Plate, California Made Metlox.





Vintage 50's Salem Royal Windsor Biscayne Dish Set. A cute little set for those who want something other than the whole atomic thing.





Vintage 50's Starbrite Pattern Dish Set by Homer Laughlin. A KILLER set for those of us who want the atomic thing. Hot damn. Lurve. (A really cool alternative to Franciscan Starburst.)





Vintage 50's/60's California Made Covered Server with Stand. You gotta love the speckles of brown! Or don't love them, for all I care. Geeze, try to show you something cool.





Vintage 50's/60s unmarked but cute gold flecked candy (or whatevs) dish.





Another unmarked, quintessential 50's 4-sectioned server. Gold fleck yourself.




Unmarked 50's/60's oblong covered server. More gold flecking good times.





Vintage 60's Melmac Server & Ashtray Set. Now that's manly. Something to hold your nuts AND smokes.

Way-Out Wednesdays: (I Never Promised You A) Rose Garden

What with everyone talking nonstop about their gardens lately, I thought perhaps there was some way to incorporate that into Way-Out Wednesdays. But I didn't have my mojo working (idea dysfunction can happen to anyone, you know. There's a pill for that now, I heard) and I couldn't figure out where exactly to go with that theme, so I almost scrapped the whole ding dang idea. And then my girl over at Somebodys Favourite Girl (AKA Ms De Vil) smacked me upside the head with a great idea: Why not do wonderful (fugly) vintage planters? Mad props to her for getting my mojo back. (Oh, behave.) Done and done. Planters are used in gardening after all and jebus knows there are more than enough ridonkulous ones out there floating around. In fact, I found so many hideous/rad vintage planters that I may have to do a second installment about them. Unless I lose my mojo again or forget.

So for today's Way-Out Wednesday, I bring you the vintage planter that makes you wonder what the fark the maker was thinking. I mean, really. You could pick more attractive things out of your belly button than some of the ones I found. I mean, really. (If you've ever wondered what I would look like if I was a male owl planter, you'll find out below. That one is made of awesome and I really want it. I love you, grumpy owl planter.) So not all of these are total abominations of the ceramics world, some are kinda cool in their way. (But you know, still fug.)

(Warning: I maybe went a little overboard (who, me?!) and this is probably the most bandwithiest, picture-heavy post yet. I couldn't stop. I have a problem.)



Swine Flu Dog would like you to know that he now comes with his own barf bucket.





Sexual Deviant Giraffe would like you to know that he would like it very much if you kicked him the balls before planting anything in him.





Cross-Dressing Squirrel would like you to know that just because you caught him in a compromising position of applying his mother's lipstick when you walked in on him in the basement while he had a fat girl trapped at the bottom of a well, that he is not gay.




Extremely Angry Squirrel would like you to know he's not putting up with any more shit from you or your plants today.






BJ Cat would like you to know that your face really can freeze that way.





Indifferent Owl would like you to know he is not amused by your choice of plant, but doesn't really care one way or the other what you plant in him anyway, so whatever.





Harem Girl from New York wants you to know that she wants you to go fuck yourself and then fuggedaboudit.





Burn Victim Clown would like you to know that he swears he wasn't the one who hunted the kids of Elm Street and that he was burned to death in the school's furnace for no reason. But he's not mad or planning on getting his revenge on the entire town, so you should trust him and come see what he has hidden for you inside his drum.






Tony the Pervert would like you to know he's got somethin' real important to give you: it's his dick on a box.





"(I Never Promised You A) Rose Garden" by Lynn Anderson.

Cosmic Thing

In case you haven't come across this seller yet (and if you dig mid-century modern design, of course) then I demand you check out Atomic Mobiles. She sells these amazing 1950's/1960's Calder-inspired, custom-designed free form mobiles in period-correct colorways, though you can choose any color combo that moves you. They're swell.

A few examples. Observe:












"Cosmic Thing" by B-52's.

Tiptoe Through The Tulips

I'm gonna get down and dirty with the gardening talk here for a moment, so if you're easily bored or just don't give a crap about nature (which I totally understand where you're coming from- I don't give a rat's ass about the outdoors either, only when it comes to my garden). I certainly am not super gardener of the year, I am no expert, but it just makes me happy. (No worries though, I won't bore you to tears with a million pictures of my flowers all summer long, because let's face it, just about everyone gardens to some degree and who the hell cares about other people's stupid flowers anyway? Believe me, no one is fascinated by your petunias. Or mine. But if you're a professional gardener who writes gardening blogs to people who care what you have to say about begonias and lasagna beds, then that's different.) So if the excitement of a newly-sprouted bulb doesn't interest you today, then you might wanna just ignore today's post. Just don't even look in this general direction.

On a totally unrelated note to anything that has to do with anything here, I was walking past my front garden this morning when out of the corner of my eyebulb, I notice a new development...



Do you witness the wee little caladium? (Pay no mind to the weeding that's been ignored and the mulch that need replacing. I know, I know. It looks all sorts of jacked and it makes me batty to see it this way and I must get to that this week, if people stopped being so damn needy of my time, what with the needing to be fed and taken to school and all. GOSH.)



It's wee-ness is so cute I could barf. It wasn't there yesterday and then this morning, why hello Dolly, there it was, after I was just about ready to abandon all hope ye who enter here and assume the bulbs weren't going to grow. Mama's so proud. *single tear*, but I hope this bastard bulb isn't an only child and the other 17 I planted grow. Jerks.




On a similar note, this disgusting sprout is new too. It's like an ugly, uncurling little wiener. (ICK. And also, *blaarrf*.) Do I know what it is? Well of course not. I planted so much crap this year, I can't even remember half of it. I can't wait to see what the hell this furry, ugly thing turns into! (If it's a penis plant, there's gonna be trouble.)



"Tiptoe Through The Tulips" by Tiny Tim.

Walking On Sunshine

"Sure, my husband works late, comes home drunk smelling like cheap gin and his secretary, sends my best friend Judy a check every month for some reason (who happens to have a son who looks curiously just like him, though her own husband was away in the war for 4 years so figure that out), makes me put a bag over my head and cries after sex, we can't have children and our poodle ran away but by god I have my towels! My beautiful, perfectly folded at right angles, color-coded towels! They're always here for me, they love me unconventionally and are absorbent when I cry myself to sleep at night! DON'T LOOK AT MY TOWELS! They're mine, do you hear me? MINE! I love you, towels, and no one will ever take you away from me...But I love you more, Valium."



"Walking On Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves.