Friday, December 31, 2010

3...2...1...Happy New Year!

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Just wanted to pop in here and wish all my amigos in blogland a very Happy New Year! I've had a good week- busy as all getout- but good all the same. Got to visit with friends and family I haven't seen in forEVer and got my paws on a boatload of a vintage haul! Sa-weet. So once again my sad little blog had to suffer, but so goes life, right? At least I'll be ringing in the new year with a lot of work, so huzzah for being buried in vintage! (And PS: I'll be be back this Sunday with our usual Prints Charming Sunday theme- tomorrow is one very last day of slack. So sue me.)

Anyway, my warmest wishes to all of you for a safe, healthy and prosperous 2011. 2010 may have sucked it BIG time, but I am SO fortunate to have gotten to know alot of you and many of your seriously cool blogs. Cheers to a better year!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Way-Out Wednesday, Holiday Horrors: We INSIST You Have A Merry Christmas.

Welcome to the last (?) Holiday Horrors edition of Way-Out Wednesday for the year! In case you were wondering, I "question marked" that because I miiight be able to continue Holiday Horrors until New Year's, depending on whether I can find any "New Years-y" vintage horrors. That'll probably be a long shot, but I'll try my darnedest for you guys! (Just don't hold your breath, is all I'm sayin'.)

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For our last (?) (there's that infernal question mark again) Holiday Horrors, I though a cheerful vintage album cover would be just great. And I mean cheerful. Painfully cheery. Like, crack-induced happiness.


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If there's one thing that bugs the bejesus outta me, it's people who insist their happiness upon you. With song. And sometimes jazz hands. But this kind of happiness is usually always for show, because you just know they're getting all Bing Crosby on their families behind the scenes. Is it just me, or does it seem like their names should be, like, Carol and Bob? Or maybe that's just what their stage names are. Something nice and stupid. But look at their faces! Who knew singing would be so orgasmic? Had I known that, I'd have spread some damn Christmas spirit long ago. On second thought, singing carols in public makes me the exact opposite of cheerful. "Murderous rampage" some might say. I'll save the drug-addled singing to the pros. Take it away, Carol and Bob! No really. Take it away.

Happiest People Alive, Carol and Bob, can be heard on this Vintage "Favorite Christmas Carols" album, currently available on Etsy from seller Johnny Vintage.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Prints Charming Sunday: Cabin Fever

Welcome to a special, Christmas-y edition of Prints Charming Sunday!

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Today's vintage novelty print pick is this charming Vintage 50's Winter Cabin Print Lanz Dress available on Etsy from seller Swing Kats Vintage:


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It's so cute for Christmas and all of winter, even, with its quilty-ness and red & green-ness and pine tree/cabin-y print, um, -ness. Almost everything by Lanz is sure to be a winner, and this is no exception! Unless of course you have something against quilted things. Or red & green. Or cabins. Then you're out of luck, my friend.

A close-up of all of the "ness-es" of which I just spoke:

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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Way-Out Wednesday: Holiday Horrors: Santa's Little (No) Helper

Welcome to a holly, jolly Way-Out Wednesday, Holiday Horrors edition! (FYI: There is no holly. And the "jolly"? Well, that's debatable. Doubtful, even. You've been warned.)

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Clowns are universally grotesque, no question. Scary, creepy and altogether not amusing. But elves on the other hand? They're adorable! Charming! Santa's little helpers! Happy little imps, they are. Or, you know, when they're not.



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At first, you're all: "Aww, what a cute little Vintage Homemade Elf Doll! I want one!" But then upon closer viewing, you'll get a feeling of despair. Like that time you got a little too friendly with the Peppermint Schnapps at the office party and did the "Elaine" dance, only you weren't quirky and ironic, just drunk and slaggy. There's just something so...what's the word...uber depressing about this guy.

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Not evil. Not exactly a creep either. But he sure as hell ain't jolly! Just...wrong. Off. Fakakta. Maybe it's the carrot-like nose. Maybe it's the mis-matched ears. Maybe it's the "Liza with a "Z" makeup. Or maybe it's the pictures?


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Ahh. There we have it.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Prints Charming Sunday: Christmas Wrapping

Welcome to a Christmas-y edition of Prints Charming Sunday!

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Today's vintage novelty print pick is not only spectacularly fantastic but it's also fantastically *perfect* for Christmas. Heck, the print could even work for my Hanukkah-celebrating peeps. Mazel tov, yo!



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It's hard to make out, but it's actually a Vintage 40's Present Novelty Print Rayon Dress, available on Etsy from seller Mid Century Antiques.



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Can you see? Red & green presents! Merry Christmas, bubalas!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Way-Out Wednesday: Holiday Horrors

It's time for this week's Way-Out Wednesday, Holiday Horrors style.

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If there's one thing I love it's strange old photographs. But if there's one thing I love even more is strange old photographs with creepy-ass Santas, supremely pissed-off kids and of course, taxidermy. So imagine the bliss! joy! rapture! when I came across this freaking gem of someone's family history:


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Everything about this Vintage Creepy Santa, Reindeer and Spoiled Brat Photograph is pure win. But I mean, damn. Newly Paroled Santa, is that a a deer in your pocket? Because you certainly aren't happy to see us. (Did you catch that vague and furthermore lame attempt at pervy humor? You're most welcome for that wee dose of holiday blasphemy and bad taste.)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Atomic Tuesday: Fiddle-Dee-Dee!

Welcome to Atomic Tuesday!

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Today's pick for Atomic Tuesday is this cute Vintage 50s PIN UP BOMBSHELL FULL CIRCLE PARTY ATOMIC MARILYN SKIRT M L

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That's the seller's exact title, by the way. Here's the thing. I have many, if not an overabundance of, questions. "Pin up"? Hmmm, not sure if that's entirely accurate. "Party"? Ehhhh. And "full circle"? I'm not sure if people fully understand what that means but it should, by its very definition, form a full and complete circle shape when laid flat. Maybe it's just the angles, but this looks more "A"-line-ish to me than circle. And the tags in the listing are "Marilyn Monroe, Grease, bombshell and new look", which are a little...you know, not really choice, either. But I'm not here to criticize a seller's wordage, because I'm not concerned with what other sellers do. I do have a question about the original intent of the skirt. Doesn't it look like someone got all Scarlett O'Hara-y on our asses and scissored the hell out of the drapes and fashioned them into a skirt? Which is fine and all! I'm not opposed to upcycling stuff into...you know, other stuff. We don't know the circumstances. Maybe the former owner fell on economic hard times (geeze, what are those) and had to do some crafty improvising. To which I say, go on girl! Maybe there was a fire and this was the only thing the former owner could grab onto on the way out the door, which was probably on fire. To which I also say, good on ya, mate! Who knows, really. I have too many questions today and should probably just acknowledge that this is just a cute, atomic print skirt and leave it at that. I'm not hatin' and I'm arguing. (It's too cold to anyway!) I wanna know your thoughts! Former curtains or intentional fashion? Neither? Both? Turn the damn heat up already? (I vote for the last one.)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Way-Out Wednesday: Holiday Horrors.

Welcome to a special Way-Out Wednesday: the Holiday Horrors edition!

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I rolled out this theme last year for the month of December and it was such a hit with you lovelies that I thought why not rock it again this year? (Also: that sounded all highfalutin of me, the way I just said that.)

A quick 'splainin: To those unfamiliar, Holiday Horrors takes all the same elements of Way-Out Wednesday (ie: creepy-ass, fug or just plain ol' crazytown) but with vintage Christmas/Hanukkah/whateverthehellelseholiday items. So let's get it on! (Also: not in that way. Pervs.)




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It is said there is a certain, underground videotape out there of Santa doing certain, questionable things with Rudolph. It is also said that if you watch this videotape, you will get a phone call from Santa, singing you a very drunken and almost unintelligible version of "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer", after which, he hangs up and sends one of his elf minions to crawl out of a well, hunt you down, and force you to slam eggnog shots until you get to the point where you think going streaking is an awesome idea, the sight of which makes Mrs. Clause cry at which point you pass out, until the next morning when you wake to the sound of you mom screaming at you and how you ruined Christmas, finding you naked under the Christmas tree, sucking on last night's candy cane and reeking reeking of gingerbread and, for some reason, reindeer.

Vintage Creepy Elf Figurine is currently available on Etsy (as well as at the bottom of a well, just waiting for you to watch that stag home movie of Santa's) from seller Eido.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Turkey Day!

Wishing you all the least family dysfunctional and most tryptophanic Thanksgiving Day ever!

I'm not sure if I'll be back in time to post friday's weekly theme or not (depending on the level of poultry hangover and such), but if not, I'll be back this Sunday as regularly scheduled. In the meantime, enjoy these photos from Macy's Thanksgiving Days past! (Warning, there's 10 pics ahead.) Macy's was known for some pretty epic floats, people. EPIC.


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Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Way-Out Wednesday: Wormed For Her Pleasure.

Welcome to a special, Thanksgiving eve edition of Way-Out Wednesday!

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Is today's theme possibly turkey-related, you ask? Well duh, of course it is! Only, since it is Way-Out Wednesday after all, you know today's vintage pick has to be a little offbeat, kinda wacky and of course, well, borderline gross. Mmm, delicious. Now dig in!



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"Oh, delightful", you're thinking. "A vintage can of...something or other...to use in our country-fabulous decor. Look at how you just got all shabby chic on our asses. You pulled a ninja Rachel Ashwell maneuver on us. How thoughtful of you." But no, my pie-eating peeps. It's not just any vintage can of something or other. If you look closely at the label it says- and I quote- "For the expulsion of round worms and tapeworms in poultry." Yep. Pellets for deworming your turkey. (gag. blech.ohmygodGROSS.) Well there's something to give thanks for tomorrow. But no tapeworms means you'll just have to lose 50 pounds in 4 days some other way.

Vintage Can of Dr. Salsbury's Poultry Pellets is currently available on Etsy from seller Cottageprims.



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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Atomic Tuesday: Star Light, Star Bright.

Welcome back to Atomic Tuesday!

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Is everyone (at least everyone here in the US) ready for turkey day? Not me. (Although I'm sure you're admiring my delightfully creepy and altogether disturbing banner I'm using for Thanksgiving week.) I'm already over thanksgiving and thinking about Christmas. So for today's Atomic Tuesday I've been looking around at tacky/kitschy/fantastical vintage ornaments and found *thee* perfect trio for you starburst-heads:


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Love! But I will offer this word of wisdom (only because I've recently been duped myself)~ ever since Target started repro-ing atomic and starburst-y shaped ornaments over the past few years, it's getting harder and harder to believe that what's being sold as "vintage" on places like Etsy and Ebay is actually so and not, in fact, a clever Target facsimile. Don't get me wrong, that's not to say this set isn't vintage or that the seller is anything but truthful and a good seller at that- (although I don't have any connection to or know the seller from a hole in the wall)- I'm just sayin', a girl's gotta be careful out there these days. You never know when a bad ornament is gonna sneak up on you and try to pass itself off as a good one in a dark back alley one night. Just sayin'.

Either way, this set *is* definitely cool and I would totally keep these out on display year 'round, wouldn't you? (Yeeeah, I knew ya would!) Super rad Vintage Space Age Ornament Trio is currently available for a very decent $11.99 from seller Tipple & Snack. Which now makes me want a snack. And the seller also offers some fun vintage kitchen items. Well played, shopkeep, well played.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Atomic Tuesday: For The Record...

Welcome to a pathetically neglected and often-MIA Atomic Tuesday!

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I've been losing my "atomic mojo" as it were, not being very inspired or motivated by much out there lately- (which seems to be the case with most vintage things- either there's a ton of cool stuff available all at once or a total dry spell)- until I saw this supercool Vintage Atomic Patterned 45 RPM Record Case:


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Record cases tend to be a dime a dozen and most of the ones I've come across were pretty bland (like the standard black or olive drab hue), so this one's crazy, Calder-esque pattern and nearly mint condition make it a winner!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Prints Charmning Sunday: Roxanne, You Don't Have To Put On The Red Light

Welcome to Prints Charming Sunday!

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Today's vintage novelty print is utterly charming! (I know, it's super lame to call it that, considering today IS, after all, "Prints Charming Sunday", so it's not at all a creative description for it, but I'm telling you, it works. Behold, my good sirs and madams:

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And now, let's discuss the print. Not being the fancy-pantsical or superbly well-versed in 19th century playwrights type, I'm not 100% certain but I'm assuming the print is based on "Cyrano de Bergerac"? It sure looks like the scene where the dude with the big-ass schnoz is wooing Roxanne, under the guise of being the hotty hotpants dude. Make sense? I thought not. See for thine selves:


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Vintage 40's Rayon Novelty Print Dress currently available on Etsy from seller Vintageous Boutique.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

For The Boys! (And Girls)

Today is Veteran's Day here in the US and I want to express my utmost gratitude, respect and big ol' love to all the veterans out there young and old, to those currently serving and to those no longer with us. You will never be forgotten.

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Big love to my own boys, a veteran and a Scout (who may be a veteran one day too.)

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And now something cool for any veterans in the US getting married~ If you (whether you're male or female) were deployed to Iraq, Afghanistan or Qatar within the past 5 years and are currently planning your wedding, you can get a FREE wedding gown, thanks to Brides Across America! Brides Across America holds annual events at bridal salons
across the country-you can get a list of the participating salons and cities on the home page of their website. Hurry- the event is only held today (in a few states until tomorrow, too!)


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Happy Veterans Day!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Way-Out Wednesday: The Pork Is Mightier Than The Sword.

Welcome to another (better late than never) Way-Out Wednesday!

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Now that the holiday season is officially all up in our grill, it's time to start thinking about buying presents for our ingrate friends and family again! Ho ho ho, dammit. (Side note: for the record, it's impossible to feel anything remotely resembling "jolly" or "in the holiday spirit" when you're in an aisle at Walgreen's that simultaneously has 75% off Halloween crap that 4 people with shopping carts are wildly digging about, competing for squeeze tubes of fake blood and bags of Spongebob gummy eyeballs as if they're the last ones on earth while the other side of the aisle is lined with an army of stuffed chihuahuas singing "Feliz Navidad" and boxes of the sad little Christmas tree from Charlie Brown. Also: Longest. Run-on. Ever.)

Anyway.

This year I'm making an effort to get everyone extra special, extra weird Christmas presents. I have a few eccentric artiste friends who still rock it old school by, like, using a typewriter or getting all classy on my ass with calligraphy pens or even sending letters in the mail type of old school. So today's pick for Way-Out Wednesday ain't vintage (sorry) and it ain't clowns (you're welcome, Inky) but it is pretty way-out, as far as conventional and modern products go. Do you know any writers? Anyone with a gift for gab, a penchant for the pen, a way with words? (Bloggers don't count. I'm talking about real writers. Ha!) Writers who also like, well, meat? If so, they may just dig this, in 3 words:



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Bacon. Flavored. Envelopes. Seriously. It's a must. I'm dying to know what manner of bacon of which it resembles- pork bacon tastes totally different than turkey bacon, which is in a whole other zip code from veggie bacon. Has anyone heard of the bacon envelopes or maybe even tried it? If so, please report in! (Everyone else, report back in when you're done retching, no rush. Swine-flavored paper products can do that to a person.)


Pack of 25 Bacon Flavored Envelopes are available on the website J&D's, whose motto is "Everything Should Taste Like Bacon". They sell Bacon Salt (good idea) and Baconnaise, some sort of spreadable bacon (maybe not such a good idea), if bacon flavored envelopes aren't quite weird enough for you.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Way-Out Wednesday: Boney Maroney

Welcome to Way-Out Wednesday!

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Sorry for the lack of posts lately amigos, but I've been multitasking like a badass again, including spending about 3 days making dozens of these little hellions for Halloween parties:



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Spider cupcakes, y'all. In pirate skull & crossbone printed liners! Fun? Totally. Pain in the ass? Oh yeah. Better idea in theory? Hell yes. All those spider legs were made by cutting off strips of black licorice Twizzlers, so 8 legs X 36 cupcakes = 1 very annoyed me. But worth it, since Halloween only comes once...ish. So a belated Happy Halloween to all! Now that it's November, bring on the turkey! I'm relatively ready. More or less. Probably more of the "less."


Maybe it's from being a Scorpio and naturally in tune with the creepy and macabre, but speaking of belated Halloween, I wish I found this earlier in the month, because it's terrifyingly awesome-- you know, if you dig creepy old photographs for every day use and not just for October 31st:



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While it may look like some sort of cheesetastic Halloween party setup, it's actually a vintage photo from the 1930's of the corpses in the Capuchin Catacombs in Palermo, Italy! Photo is currently available for sale from seller Diabolus, who, as the shop name suggests, also sells many other creepy-ass/flipping cool vintage photos for your devilish crafting needs.

Now if only I could find a vintage photo of a turkey skeleton...

Friday, October 29, 2010

Aqua Blue Heaven Friday: Where Were You In '72? (Or '59. Or '68. Or '77. Or...)

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...Me, in 1972? I wasn't born yet. Not even close. (Give it another 4 more years, though, and the world would never be the same.) If you were on this planet then, do you remember where you were in 1972? No matter where you were, I bet you owned one of these:



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The calendar dish towel. (This one is for sale on Etsy from seller Luna Park Foundry for $18. Yikes.) I know you grew up with one in your house. You know why you MUST have owned one of these? Because they're everywhere. They must multiply like Gremlins (or Duggars), since every thrift store or antique mall I've ever gone to has had some incantation of the dated dish towel for sale. And always with the standard rooster, kitchen utensil or ever-popular 1976 bicentennial theme. Makes me sad, really, seeing all these dish towels scattered to the 4 winds, unloved and irrelevant. Understandably, who wants to buy a towel from 1968 with a basket of eggs on it? I'd like to know who thought the current year was so important, it had to be commemorated and remembered on a novelty kitchen linen. (And who would donate one to a thrift store, thinking: "Surely someone is looking for this 1971 towel with a bushel of wheat and bald eagle soaring over a mountaintop on it. I'm such a good person for doing this."

So have you guys ever seen one for sale in your travels? Do you remember the year it was from or what picture was on it? I rather love them, if not for their kitsch factor, then for their pure randomness. I think I need to start a movement. A "Save the Dated Dish Towel" Project, where we buy as many of these suckers as possible, saving them from a useless life of fading away on a dusty Salvation Army shelf, right next to the opened package of adult diapers and "World's Best Boss" coffee mugs.

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