My (Aqua) Blue Heaven: Shake It Up

Welcome to a very late Aqua Blue Heaven Friday! Got tied up today with a whole lot of yard-related drama- long story short: don't run over a yellow jacket's nest when mowing the lawn, even if it was a total accident and you didn't even know it was there in the first place and for future reference you cannot, in fact, flood them out with a hose stuck in their hole in the ground like in cartoons, nor should you then add dish soap to it, expecting them to come out coughing or preferably dying, because all it does it turn the area into a giant mound-o-bubbles and sprinting past the area and trying to throw rocks into their little hole also does absolutely nothing against the wrath of angry bees and I swear this is the nail in the coffin for our neighbors who already think we're odd enough to begin with.

So. Let's just move on already, because if I sit still too long the bees will see me and presumably come after me with a great, unmerciful vengeance for disturbing their love nest with water, soap, bubbles, ant spray, rocks, bleach, sparklers, and firecrackers in vain.

Today's theme is the vintage 50's aqua salt & pepper shakers!




Vintage Egg-Shaped 2Tone Salt & Pepper Shakers w/Stand. These remind me of Mork and Mindy for some reason and give me an incredible urge to say "nanu! nanu!"




Vintage 60's MCM Japanese Salt & Pepper Shakers.





Vintage Aqua Wheat MINI Ceramic Salt and Pepper Shakers. Look how tiny they are! They fit on a spoon! CUUUUTE. They're so...so...wee!





Vintage 50's Windmill Salt & Pepper Shakers. This is so ding dang cool, I'm almost seizure-like! (Of course, it could be from inhaling all that wasp spray when the wind shifted.) When you turn the windmill propeller (what the hell is that even called?), the little plastic salt and pepper holders pop up out of the roof! Popping pepper pot! Sigh. I'm tired.






"Shake It Up" by the Cars.

Cold As Ice

Lots of rainy days mean lots of indoor jobs and fix-its and crap I'd rather not do, thankyouverymuch. But when you have a home-based job, the projects and messes stare you down. Even if you try to escape it by walking into another room, that room sucks and needs cleaning up too. Its a no-win sitch. People assume that if you work from home, your house should be the epitome of Better Homes and Gardens perfection, a sparkling, twinkling delight that whiffs of Lysol and bleach. Somehow, my house is more out of order now that I'm home all day than when I had a "real" job in the real world. Believe me, I'd love to be like Martha Stewart, minus the jail time. After 4 years of doing this, you'd think I'd have a routine down by now and have my shit together yet somehow, I still lack in the "shit getting together" department. I'm working on it. One day I'll have it all together: a spotless house, a well-oiled vintage business that can run on autopilot, a tended garden, a blog that gets written a week in advance, full-course meals made homemade every day, washed & waxed cars and a happy, well-adjusted family. But not today. Tomorrow won't work for me either. But one day.

But today I have no excuse: It's crazy pouring outside again, the menfolk are off to Jersey to meet a great-grandfather for the first (and probably last) time and I'm at home with those projects making me feel so guilty, they'd give a Jewish mother a run for her shekels.

So in the wee hours of the morning I started a project: the defrosting of our vintage 50's fridge. Oh the joy, I almost can't contain it. For those of you who know already, it's not exactly fun but it's not so bad if you do when you're supposed to-- and not wait until it's a giant block of arctic wasteland, like I do. One day they're thawed out, ready to take on the world of chilling beverages, the next day they're angry, full of angst and frozen up to the world, not letting anyone in. They grow up so fast.

So here's a mini-documentary, a How-To Thaw Out A Vintage Refrigerator, if you will. Mine is a 1952 apartment-sized General Electric Super Freezer Refrigerator. (Super freezer my ass.)




Step 1: Turn the dial to "Def" (yo, that's def!) for defrost, natch-- I have to unplug the fridge though, because it thinks "defrost" means "I'll take my damn time thawing out and don't rush me, woman!"






Step 2: Open the door and leave it open. See the fun that lies ahead? Oh wait, not so much fun.



Mama mia, never wait this long to defrost it! That's as far as the I could open the freezer door! What's that, like, 2 inches? That's bad and can force the metal freezer door to pop off it's hinges or warp so it never closes all the way right again, so DON'T WAIT THIS LONG. I always swear that I'll never wait this long again, but do I listen to my own advice? Not so much.






Step 3: Put as many bowls and cookie sheets down as possible to catch as much water as possible. As the ice melts, you can open the freezer door more to let the warm air get to it.




As it thaws, you may notice things long since forgotten about that lie within. Hello, old friend! I don't even remember even having Hershey bars because I'm not a fan of them, so where could they have come from?!-ohmygod, they've been in there since Easter! Holy crap, I suck. (But don't think I didn't totally give these to the fam and act like they're brand new because I totally did and what they don't know won't hurt 'em. "Waste Not, Want Not" I always don't ever really say!)







Step 4: You'll periodically need to take the filled-up bowls out, dump out the water, and put the bowls right back in the fridge to fill up again. However, if you can use that water instead of pouring it down the drain, do so! I watered all my indoor plants that way! You'll also be able to pull out large sheets of the stuff from the sides and bottom of the freezer. I also put those to good use: I take them outside and lay them in the garden. It's so humid outside that they melt fast without freezing any flowers or vegetables!







Step 5: You may need to take a knife or some sort of pointy stick type object to hack at the stubborn ice chunks that won't come off of on their own. Be careful though, it's much more slippery than you think. I cut myself on a freaking butter knife for crissakes.








Step 6: Shazam! Good as new! Once all the ice is totally gone from all sides of the freezer and all the bowls are out, give the inside a good rub-down with a towel. Now you're ready to start all over again, ignoring it and denying it your love for another 6 months until you can't close the freezer door again and remember to defrost it. It's a vicious, dysfunctional circle. Like family.





"Cold as Ice" by Foreigner. I know. I am ashamed.

Way-Out Wednesday: Goo Goo Muck

Welcome to this week's Way-Out Wednesday! As you may have noticed, I do love me some vintage creepy-ass dolls. Like, alot. I'm like a magnet to finding them, they call to me. It's a gift. Like I'm a goth girl, except, you know, without all the white face makeup, black lipstick, Joy Division tapes and journals filled with "no one knows me and the world is such a crap place" poetry. I hope you're not bored with the abundance of vintage dolls I've been posting about lately, it's just that I'm *so* in awe of them (read: terrified) and absolutely amazed that these ever made it to to production! Why, I have to know, WHY?!

So this week's visual A-bomb is not actually for sale. In fact, I found it over on Thrift Shop Horrors- a fun blog to read when you have down time. If you haven't seen it yet, well, it's nothing but entries from people who take pictures of strange shit they find in thrift stores. I will say that alot of the stuff they think is a "horror" I tend to covet, so to each his own. I'm not sure of it's vintage-ness and I certainly have never seen this doll before, so it's new to me. The doll in question below was found recently at a thrift store by one of the posters over there, so I hope it's cool I write about it here. If not, then too bad because I'm doing it anyway.

First, please read the disclaimer below so I don't get sued for wrongful death.


**If you have a bad heart, are currently pregnant, are on anti-psychotic meds, are under the age of 10 or over the age of 60, believe in God, have a tendency to get possessed and speak in tongues, have recently had a home perm, or think that mankind is whole-heartedly good: you should not go on. Back away, do not scroll down, go have a cup of chamomile tea, take a Valium and finish knitting that vodka bottle cozy for me. You have been warned. Enjoy!



Here she is, in all her glory! You know I love to spread sunshine and happiness:






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!!!


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I can't... I just...can't.


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"Goo Goo Muck" but the Cramps.

Atomic Tuesday: Material Girl

Welcome to this week's Atomic Tuesday! I'm gonna keep this short and sweet today, because it's been so sweltering lately that motivation quickly turns to slack, and, wait, OK, so that happens even when it's not jungle-like outside, but it really is especially hard to concentrate and work and be an adult when it's 95 degrees out and all you're thinking about is how good it would be to turn your Slushie from 7-11 into a vodka cherry Slushie. (And don't even tell me I'm the only one who thinks about that at 10:00 in the morning....right?....Right?!) I mean, really, people. It's hot. White hot. (Ha! Did you see how I threw out that random "Pretty in Pink" reference? Did you see that there? Clever, right?! Not so much? Well who asked you anyway? I will quote random 80's movies until the cows come home and you will like it and don't make me pull this car over or I'll show you kids what-for!) Great. See?! The humidity's already gotten to my brain functioning-properly parts and inner dialogue is beginning to unravel, so let's move on before I start arguing with the voices again, shall we? Let's roll.


Today's Atomic Tuesday is something that I know most if you 50's-lovin' girlies and crafty, sew-y chickie types can appreciate: the Vintage Fabric. The possibilities are endless with a kitschy scrap-o-material. Homemade drapes? Too easy. A barkcloth tote bag? Girl, please. A vodka bottle cozy? Now you're talking my language, kid. So without further whatever, the atomic-print vintage fabric:






Vintage 50's/60s Brown Atomic Barkcloth Fabric




Vintage 50's/60's Starburst Barkcloth Fabric- with gold paint stripes & stars. Gold paint! Who doesn't love that?! So shiny...so glimmery...my precioussss.....




And my favorite, this Vintage 50's Crazy Cool Atomic Barkcloth Fabric, with squiggles and polky dots and hourglass-shaped dealies and leaf-like type of thingies. How can you not love this? Well I'm sorry, but if you're not into dealies and thingies and whatevers, I just don't know you.




"Material Girl" by Madonna.