My Best Friend's Girlfriend

Oh, sweet jumping jebus on a pogo stick, wouldya lookie here~ it's another Spinnerin! My most favorite, mock-tacular thing of all! Today's Vintage 1967 Spinnerin Book is curiously named "Gentleman Prefer" and ever more curiously dabbled with ménage à trois-y references throughout. Well this can't be good. Or attractive. Let's see just what exactly gentlemen prefer these days...



Gentleman Prefer...


*...their women to dress like 12 year old boys?

*...their women to be classy, yet have a subtle hairstyle that whispers "I live in a trailer park"?

*...to coordinate their outfits when they go out to look like they just had their yearbook photo taken?

*...to pretend to be Clark Kent?

*...to act like they're interested in what "Kiss My Grits" Flo has to say, while checking out the stacked blond behind her?

*...to take full advantage of props, such as this complimentary basket of fruit, sent up by hotel management when accidentally mistaking them for the Everly Borthers?

*...to use said prop in order to break out the old "is that a banana in your basket, or are you just happy to see me" joke?

*...to offer chicks a poison apple, so they'd just go away already?

*...to keep a close watch on their chick, waiting for the moment the roofies kick in?

* ...to grip something tightly, to keep from reaching over and bitchslapping Flo into next week, in order to get her to stop talking about the proper way to fry a corn dog?








"My Best Friend's Girlfriend" by the Cars.

My Aqua Blue Heaven Friday: Rockin' the Joint

Welcome to this week's Aqua Blue Heaven Friday!




Today I've decided to feature all items from my friend Fiona's website, who has a smashing, dahling website NOTORIOUS KITSCH. Which is fun to say and even funner to say "Notorious Bitch." Which *I* may be, but she most certainly is not, but rather, a charming gal with a rockin' website. If you've never checked out her site, do so immediately! Or you know, when you get a chance. It's chock full of cool, gift-y and home decor-y items, all with a tiki/50's housewife/retro spin. It's not necessarily gifts either. She has things to retro up your bathroom, bar, kitchen, you name it. (FYI: Notorious Kitsch is based in the UK, but ships worldwide! So everyone's ass is covered.)

So sticking with today's theme, I picked out a handful of kitschy fun aqua items she currently offers, so without further ado, here are my vintage-inspired picks from Notorious Kitsch:










Notepads with retro humor? Indeed.






Shower curtains? Check.





Tiki mugs? Why, yes, thank you for asking.





Barware and kitchen accessories, like atomic fish trays? Naturally.





Tote bags that don't suck? Yes, please. These are currently my favorite thing on the site! I can't stand those stupid hippie fugly ones from the supermarket~ these totes are just like those, except cool. And with fun statements! They're reusable and made with 20% recycled materials. (The one I'm considering buying is the one that says "You'll eat it... you'll eat it and like it." Ha! Damn ungrateful family.)







"Rockin' the Joint" by Esquerita.

Hamburger Hop

Welcome to another Way-Out Wednesday!



Today's vintage pick is like last week's, where it isn't exactly "way-out", wacky, yes, but not bizarre. But it did bring back awesome memories of being a kid, and it's something most of you remember all too well. In fact, you'll probably roll your eyes and sigh, maybe even get slightly stabby when I say...

"Where's the beef"?!

Yep, an annoying but clever slogan for Wendy's hamburgers in the 80's. If you're under the age of, say, 30, you probably assume I'm talking gibberish again, but I'm sure everyone else remembers the old, like really old ladies who starred in the commercial. Funny thing is, the commercial only ran for about a year, from 1984-85, and we still talk about it. Compared to most modern "sex sells" advertising, the Wendy's commercial is lame in contrast, putting 3 old bats who could double for the Crypt Keeper yelling about "big fluffy buns" and demanding to know where the beef is. It worked in the 80's, though, and you gotta give the ad execs props for coming up with a clever catch phrase that lasted a helluva lot longer than the commercial (or the old ladies) did.

There were quite a few different "where's the beef" commercials with the ancient broads, but here's the classic one:



Did you know there was actual "Where's the Beef?" merchandise to buy? I had *no* idea! Then again, I was only about 8 or 9 at the time, so what did I know? I can barely remember yesterday, let alone 25 years ago. So imagine my- and it happened in this order- shock! glee! disgust! (at the image of old bat) and more glee!- when I came across this little vintage treat of pop culture:



Why yes! It is a potholder and oven mitt set featuring the catch phrase and old lady who made it popular, thank you for asking. I'm both horrified and intrigued by this thing and I both want to buy it and run away from it at the same time. It's available from Nick and Nessie's on etsy for a mere 15 clams!


And for your added Way-Out Wednesday pleasure, here's a hot and sexy pic of the lady who made her fortune from shouting a line. And then died. True story, she passed away in 1987, 2 short years after she was rocketed to fame, fortune and oiled-up pool boys named Rico. So that's both sad and not at all surprising.







"Hamburger Hop" by Johnny Hicks.

Atomic Tuesday: Oh! You Pretty Things

Welcome to Atomic Tuesday!




It's been weirdly freezey here lately. Not literally of course, but vuuurry cold at night, in the mornings and even the afternoons haven't been all that toasty of late. And it's technically still summer, you know. For another, what, 3 weeks? A little less? Little more? Whatever. I could google "When's the first day of autumn this year" buuuuut I won't. On principal. The principal of "Who The Balls Cares, Get On With It Already, Freakshow."

So around this time of year when summer transitions to fall, I tend to start feeling very crafty-like. I want to make stuff, pretty stuff. I want to do something with vintage fabric and a Bedazzler and all that girlie crap I'm supposed to like. It's weird, I know, as I'm typically better at the destroying of things, not the making of things and also I tend to not be so good with the sticking to a plan and the seeing of it through, such as an arsty/craftsy project would require. But I get points for wanting to be crafty, right? I mean, good intentions have gotta count for something? At any rate, this time of year gets my creativity working overtime. (After I just said that, I've got the line from "Taking Care of Business" by Bachman Turner Whoeverthehell stuck in my head. You do too, now? You're welcome.)

With looking around online for today's atomic theme came inspiration for seriously cool projects that involve vintage 50's atomic-y fabric (or repro fabric). I don't mean for anyone to copy it line for line, as that's neither creative nor cool, just get inspired by these fellow crafty bitches. Does it mean I'll make anything similar? Most likely, no. Someone has to grumble about teens these days and bitch about random things, and I'm pretty sure the world expects me to keep my job post. But that doesn't mean that YOU crafty/sew-y chicks can't do it! In fact, I expect you to and report back with your finished product. Or don't. I'm OK with that.

These are fun and easy (but what the hell do I know about sewing?!) ideas that make me go "why didn't I think of that?!" and "what a cute idea!". Also, I'm easily amused. You could hot glue gun a bottle cap to a coffee can and I'll think it's great. Enjoy!




Atomic Fabric Checkbook Cover. Not exactly functional or necessary, but still. It's a cute idea and pretty!





Atomic Pink Fabric Card Holder. Again, not exactly a need, but like the checkbook cover, it looks so cool and eye-catching when you pull it out! (That's what he said. Zing!)





Atomic Barkcloth Clutch Purse. DO WANT.





Atomic Party Favor/Gift Box. Now THIS is a cool idea, especially for the non-conventional bride. How many weddings have you gone to, where you get one of those cliche, little white gift boxes with tulle-wrapped mints and a mini bottle of stupid-ass bubbles and curly white ribbons tied around it? Like, a million, right? These retro gift boxes are an uber-cool alternative to the White Mint Boxes From Hell. Just sayin'.





Pink & Brown Barkcloth Tote Bag. First of all: pink & brown= excellence. The fabric looks very Alfred Hitchcockian, a la "Vertigo", double plus. And a tote like this is a helluva lot cuter than those stupid green plastic ones at the grocery store that have hippie sayings on them like "Go Green, Save The Earth". I'm ALL for it, but hippie slogans make my head burst into flames.





"Oh! You Pretty Things" by David Bowie.

Death Metal Cookie

Up for a little light, Sunday night entertainment? Of course you are. I knew Cookie Monster had the power of rock in him. Why didn't I think of this?! Make sure to turn up the volume, so you can hear what Cookie Monster is saying. It's comedy gold, people!