Atomic Tuesday: Oh! You Pretty Things

Welcome to Atomic Tuesday!




It's been weirdly freezey here lately. Not literally of course, but vuuurry cold at night, in the mornings and even the afternoons haven't been all that toasty of late. And it's technically still summer, you know. For another, what, 3 weeks? A little less? Little more? Whatever. I could google "When's the first day of autumn this year" buuuuut I won't. On principal. The principal of "Who The Balls Cares, Get On With It Already, Freakshow."

So around this time of year when summer transitions to fall, I tend to start feeling very crafty-like. I want to make stuff, pretty stuff. I want to do something with vintage fabric and a Bedazzler and all that girlie crap I'm supposed to like. It's weird, I know, as I'm typically better at the destroying of things, not the making of things and also I tend to not be so good with the sticking to a plan and the seeing of it through, such as an arsty/craftsy project would require. But I get points for wanting to be crafty, right? I mean, good intentions have gotta count for something? At any rate, this time of year gets my creativity working overtime. (After I just said that, I've got the line from "Taking Care of Business" by Bachman Turner Whoeverthehell stuck in my head. You do too, now? You're welcome.)

With looking around online for today's atomic theme came inspiration for seriously cool projects that involve vintage 50's atomic-y fabric (or repro fabric). I don't mean for anyone to copy it line for line, as that's neither creative nor cool, just get inspired by these fellow crafty bitches. Does it mean I'll make anything similar? Most likely, no. Someone has to grumble about teens these days and bitch about random things, and I'm pretty sure the world expects me to keep my job post. But that doesn't mean that YOU crafty/sew-y chicks can't do it! In fact, I expect you to and report back with your finished product. Or don't. I'm OK with that.

These are fun and easy (but what the hell do I know about sewing?!) ideas that make me go "why didn't I think of that?!" and "what a cute idea!". Also, I'm easily amused. You could hot glue gun a bottle cap to a coffee can and I'll think it's great. Enjoy!




Atomic Fabric Checkbook Cover. Not exactly functional or necessary, but still. It's a cute idea and pretty!





Atomic Pink Fabric Card Holder. Again, not exactly a need, but like the checkbook cover, it looks so cool and eye-catching when you pull it out! (That's what he said. Zing!)





Atomic Barkcloth Clutch Purse. DO WANT.





Atomic Party Favor/Gift Box. Now THIS is a cool idea, especially for the non-conventional bride. How many weddings have you gone to, where you get one of those cliche, little white gift boxes with tulle-wrapped mints and a mini bottle of stupid-ass bubbles and curly white ribbons tied around it? Like, a million, right? These retro gift boxes are an uber-cool alternative to the White Mint Boxes From Hell. Just sayin'.





Pink & Brown Barkcloth Tote Bag. First of all: pink & brown= excellence. The fabric looks very Alfred Hitchcockian, a la "Vertigo", double plus. And a tote like this is a helluva lot cuter than those stupid green plastic ones at the grocery store that have hippie sayings on them like "Go Green, Save The Earth". I'm ALL for it, but hippie slogans make my head burst into flames.





"Oh! You Pretty Things" by David Bowie.

Unfortunate Jake

U is for Una who slipped down a drain.



U is also for undead.

I went to a Cub Scout Halloween party this week (you know I know how to party my face off) and all the little munchkins got to dress up in their costumes and play obnoxious games and go into sugar-overload right before bedtime and it was a HOOT as you can imagine and don't act like you're not jealous because I know you surely must be. Remember when we were kids and you'd start working on your costume like a month before Halloween? You'd never submit to a store-bought plastic one. But now, just about every costume on a kid is from the store and I didn't see one single vampire, mummy, ghost, zombie or any other undead creature of doom. I demand to know what GIVES? What happened to creativity? What happened to wanting to have the kick-assingest costume ever? Usually I'm the first to support laziness and slacking, but when did people get so unmotivated to do anything out of the ordinary? I do not approve. And also BAH HUMBUG.

Also at this par-tay, every year the Scouts has a theme and all the boys decorate a pumpkin according to said theme. This year was "Books and Fairy Tales", how hard can THAT be, right? And also, you can go crazy loco with your pumpkin, because that's such an easy theme to get wacky and creative and crafty with. Most of the pumpkins were half-assed and not at all related to the theme and that makes me sad. Won't someone think of the children?! Granted, there were 2 Tin Men and a Pinocchio which were cool, so I must give props when props are due.

However, we are the types to do something not ordinary and our pumpkin won the award for the Most Spectacular Pumpkin Of All Time Or Ever Will Be And No One Can Ever Make A Better One. Or something like that. And it took all of a few moments of thinking and about 10 minutes to make. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Shazam! Our Green Eggs and Ham pumpkin, (which has also come to be known as the Infected Ham around here):



We cut out egg shapes from green felt, a little outlining, a glued-on pom pom "yolk", bada bing bada boom, done. And THAT won. Wow. It's not even that good. Fools! I've tricked them with my craftiness. First stop: pumpkin contest win. Next stop: world domination.



* "Unfortunate Jake" by the Frantic Flintstones.