Unfortunate Jake

U is for Una who slipped down a drain.



U is also for undead.

I went to a Cub Scout Halloween party this week (you know I know how to party my face off) and all the little munchkins got to dress up in their costumes and play obnoxious games and go into sugar-overload right before bedtime and it was a HOOT as you can imagine and don't act like you're not jealous because I know you surely must be. Remember when we were kids and you'd start working on your costume like a month before Halloween? You'd never submit to a store-bought plastic one. But now, just about every costume on a kid is from the store and I didn't see one single vampire, mummy, ghost, zombie or any other undead creature of doom. I demand to know what GIVES? What happened to creativity? What happened to wanting to have the kick-assingest costume ever? Usually I'm the first to support laziness and slacking, but when did people get so unmotivated to do anything out of the ordinary? I do not approve. And also BAH HUMBUG.

Also at this par-tay, every year the Scouts has a theme and all the boys decorate a pumpkin according to said theme. This year was "Books and Fairy Tales", how hard can THAT be, right? And also, you can go crazy loco with your pumpkin, because that's such an easy theme to get wacky and creative and crafty with. Most of the pumpkins were half-assed and not at all related to the theme and that makes me sad. Won't someone think of the children?! Granted, there were 2 Tin Men and a Pinocchio which were cool, so I must give props when props are due.

However, we are the types to do something not ordinary and our pumpkin won the award for the Most Spectacular Pumpkin Of All Time Or Ever Will Be And No One Can Ever Make A Better One. Or something like that. And it took all of a few moments of thinking and about 10 minutes to make. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Shazam! Our Green Eggs and Ham pumpkin, (which has also come to be known as the Infected Ham around here):



We cut out egg shapes from green felt, a little outlining, a glued-on pom pom "yolk", bada bing bada boom, done. And THAT won. Wow. It's not even that good. Fools! I've tricked them with my craftiness. First stop: pumpkin contest win. Next stop: world domination.



* "Unfortunate Jake" by the Frantic Flintstones.