Aqua Blue Heaven Friday: Stick 'em Up.

Welcome to Aqua Blue Heaven Friday!




Today's vintage aqua pick is just about the coolest collection of vintage decals ever. Of all time. The end. They just are. All of the decals below are (as of now) available for sale from the same seller, Miss Gaylee. I dig the fact that that they're vintage 40's/50's and not repros, just based on the simple fact that vintage decals just don't show up very often- let alone PINUP decals! Yep, you heard me. Pinups. I think these would look fanTAStic in a vintage pink and/or aqua bathroom. Too divine!

Way-Out Wednesday: "I Am A Turkey. Kill Me."

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, I thought it was only appropriate to make this Way-Out Wednesday turkey-themed. So first, let me say that I am aghast (aghast, I say!) at the lack of Thanksgiving-themed vintage kitsch out there in the world. Second, let me say I am aghast (aghast, I say!) that no one bought this Vintage 1981 Thanksgiving Turkey Pin. It's the right thing to get you in the mood to scarf down mass amounts of poultry, is it not?






The very first thing I thought when I saw this & read his shirt wast: "So? You want a prize or something? Arrogant-ass turkey."

Then I was all: "Ohhh, I get it. It's a late 70's/early 80's thing, calling people "jive turkeys" like Fred Sanford. AND he's a turkey. Funny. Clever. Ironic. Whoop-dee-doo."

Then I went into: "Aww, but look at his sad widdle eyes. He knows what's about to go down in the farmyard. Poor guy."

Then after an appropriate amount of time kicking myself in the ass for feeling sorry for a piece of molded plastic jewelry from the 80's, I went into immediate Evil Mode and thought: "You know, those friends of his are probably being yakked up by Snots the family dog under the dinner table right about now."


So what's your verdict? Funny and joketacular? A PETA-happy way to get everyone in a bummer mood for Thanksgiving? An ironic gift to present to your dinner host? Too pathetic to even look at? Just a stupid piece of plastic and stop over-analyzing it already? You be the judge. My verdict: I happen to love it. Then again, I happen to love calling my friends and family mildly verbally-abusive pet names like "jerks", "losers" and from now on: "turkeys."

Prints Charming Sunday: Foxy Lady.

Welcome to Prints Charming Sunday! Today's vintage novelty print pick is this tooth achingly sweet Vintage 50's Fox Novelty Print Blouse.



But it's not what you'd think: they're not just boring ol' foxes, but they're girlie foxes with flirty eyes! See?...



Cucuuute! The little foxes remind me of any cartoon from the 50's where there's a female animal constantly trying to use her female wiles to con the male animal out of something, like his wedge of cheese. Or into marriage. Or denying his inter-species sexual harassment. Oh, those crazy 50's. Making us girls look like conniving, materialistic nags. How fun!

Sometimes It Pays To Be Bad

Hey look, I gots me a fancy award! Not just any award- the Badass Blogger Award! Many, many thanks go to the lovely and charming GLAMA RAY who thought my bad attitude and grumpy demeanor should get an award! See, I always knew being a jerk would pay off in the long run.

I gotta say, I'm beyond flattered to get this today- on Friday the 13th no less, which is when apparently everything is supposed to go wrong. I love when cool & unexpected things happen in an unexpectedly cool way. Thank you so much again, Glama!

Aqua Blue Heaven Friday: Plastic, Fantastic, Spastic.

It's Aqua Blue Heaven Friday once again, kids! I've gotten a few emails from some charming gals over the past few weeks, saying that while they love vintage, being plus-size means that they're limited to pretty much only being able to wear vintage accessories. Yeah, it sucks that there isn't alot of larger sizes in vintage readily available, but you know what? You almost always get complimented when you're rockin' a vintage handbag, shoes or crazy-ass jewelry, right? So to the Ladies Who Emailed Me (and anyone else who's larger than a size 0), I'll make it a personal mission in the coming weeks to do a post or 2 of larger-sized vintage fashion! See? I got your backs! I got your backs too, skinny bitches. And centaurs. And cyclopses. And mermaids. I look out for everyone.

So in the meantime, vintage jewelry is something that anyone can wear, no matter how big, little or human you are. That being said, today's theme is the vintage aqua earring. But also, plastic vintage aqua earrings. Why? Because I said so. Also because I loooove kitschy plastic stuff from the 50's. What can I say? I'm cheap and have low expectations. Enjoy!





These Sonic Pink & Aqua Earrings are listed as 50's/60's, but something about that seems off. Either way, I do love 'em, so there.





Vintage Rhinestone Plastic Earrings. Love? Yes! Very much so. What's that? You don't quite dig those colors? You want something a little more... parfait-ish? *** Hold on a sec...




There you go.





Vintage Aqua & Yellow Cube Earrings.. Mod meets the rubik's cube!




*** You're probably thinking: "No, actually, I never wished my jewelry looked more parfait-ish, whateverthehell that means." Let me 'splain: I have sort of an ongoing dare with someone to use certain words, without sounding A.) Like I'm 90 or B.) Like I'm on crack. Words that aren't commonly used on a daily basis, at least, not since about 1910. Today's word was "parfait", because it's been argued that not only do people not eat them anymore, but no one even knows what they are. See? It's so simple and clearly sane now that I've explained it, isn't it?

Knit Wits, Part 3: Meet Me At The Peach Pit

"Tiffany, I figure this is as good a time as any to tell you...I'm gay. Also, I just landed my first real acting gig, playing "Peach Pit Dishwasher #3" on Beverly Hills 90210. If I really prove myself, I may be able to move up to the role of "Brandon Walsh's Sideburn Double". You what they say: you gotta suck a lot of....well, you of all people know how to get ahead in this biz."


"Oh, Rick. I knew it all along. But I also have my own Hollywood plans. I just scored a totally awesome role too, playing "Side Ponytail Stand-In" for Kristy Swanson on some movie about a teenage vampire-slayer. Wicked, right? I guess doing all those splits in a cheerleader skirt finally paid off."

Today's Post Is Brought To You By The Letters "F" and "U"

Which stands for "Forty?!...Ugh...". (What did you think I meant?)

Happy 40th Birthday, Sesame Street! It's hard to believe that as of yesterday Sesame Street has been running for 40 years. (!!) I feel so old. Now that most of the characters have wrong-sounding voices, maybe it's time for the show to gracefully take a bow, though it'll be a sad day when it does. It's a double-edged sword, isn't it? You don't want a huge chunk of your youth to be gone forever, yet you don't want it to turn all sorts of wrong, either. Darn you Sesame Street, for making me overthink your relevance!

I know I've shown this picture once before some time back, but it's seriously my most favorite picture of the people in your neighborhood. If I were to get a tattoo that'd I regret when I was 80, it'd be of this:



After 40 years of singing about ladybug picnics, being roommates with an angry in-the-closet OCD bottlecap collector, living in a garbage can with a worm who's the only person that can stand being around you, having one-sided conversations with a pet goldfish, being the only vegetarian vampire who's spends his days counting random things for apparently no good reason, falling down stairs with 12 coconut cream pies, singing songs with celebrities that no 5 year old could possibly know, living among 2 furry octopus-like monsters from outer space who are scared of ringing telephones and enabling a future-diabetic's cookie problem, it's no wonder the gang of Sesame Street turned to a life of crime.