Welcome to a special Way-Out Wednesday: the Holiday Horrors edition!
I rolled out this theme last year for the month of December and it was such a hit with you lovelies that I thought why not rock it again this year? (Also: that sounded all highfalutin of me, the way I just said that.)
A quick 'splainin: To those unfamiliar, Holiday Horrors takes all the same elements of Way-Out Wednesday (ie: creepy-ass, fug or just plain ol' crazytown) but with vintage Christmas/Hanukkah/whateverthehellelseholiday items. So let's get it on! (Also: not in that way. Pervs.)
It is said there is a certain, underground videotape out there of Santa doing certain, questionable things with Rudolph. It is also said that if you watch this videotape, you will get a phone call from Santa, singing you a very drunken and almost unintelligible version of "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer", after which, he hangs up and sends one of his elf minions to crawl out of a well, hunt you down, and force you to slam eggnog shots until you get to the point where you think going streaking is an awesome idea, the sight of which makes Mrs. Clause cry at which point you pass out, until the next morning when you wake to the sound of you mom screaming at you and how you ruined Christmas, finding you naked under the Christmas tree, sucking on last night's candy cane and reeking reeking of gingerbread and, for some reason, reindeer.
Vintage Creepy Elf Figurine is currently available on Etsy (as well as at the bottom of a well, just waiting for you to watch that stag home movie of Santa's) from seller Eido.