Tiptoe Through The Tulips

I'm gonna get down and dirty with the gardening talk here for a moment, so if you're easily bored or just don't give a crap about nature (which I totally understand where you're coming from- I don't give a rat's ass about the outdoors either, only when it comes to my garden). I certainly am not super gardener of the year, I am no expert, but it just makes me happy. (No worries though, I won't bore you to tears with a million pictures of my flowers all summer long, because let's face it, just about everyone gardens to some degree and who the hell cares about other people's stupid flowers anyway? Believe me, no one is fascinated by your petunias. Or mine. But if you're a professional gardener who writes gardening blogs to people who care what you have to say about begonias and lasagna beds, then that's different.) So if the excitement of a newly-sprouted bulb doesn't interest you today, then you might wanna just ignore today's post. Just don't even look in this general direction.

On a totally unrelated note to anything that has to do with anything here, I was walking past my front garden this morning when out of the corner of my eyebulb, I notice a new development...



Do you witness the wee little caladium? (Pay no mind to the weeding that's been ignored and the mulch that need replacing. I know, I know. It looks all sorts of jacked and it makes me batty to see it this way and I must get to that this week, if people stopped being so damn needy of my time, what with the needing to be fed and taken to school and all. GOSH.)



It's wee-ness is so cute I could barf. It wasn't there yesterday and then this morning, why hello Dolly, there it was, after I was just about ready to abandon all hope ye who enter here and assume the bulbs weren't going to grow. Mama's so proud. *single tear*, but I hope this bastard bulb isn't an only child and the other 17 I planted grow. Jerks.




On a similar note, this disgusting sprout is new too. It's like an ugly, uncurling little wiener. (ICK. And also, *blaarrf*.) Do I know what it is? Well of course not. I planted so much crap this year, I can't even remember half of it. I can't wait to see what the hell this furry, ugly thing turns into! (If it's a penis plant, there's gonna be trouble.)



"Tiptoe Through The Tulips" by Tiny Tim.