Tricks Or Treats!....I Got A Rock.

Happy Halloween! I hope everyone has a rockin' night, chock full o' candy, treats and no tricks! Seems everyone and their mother has been writing about Halloween over the past few weeks. Well, OK, so have I. And, quite honestly, I'm a little sick of it at this point. So instead of ghouls and zombies and classic horror, I'm going the squeaky clean route (WHA?!) and posting some wholesome, vintage pics of Autumn over the years, courtesy of Life magazine. Enjoy... and have a killer night! Mwuhahaha.... (Ok. That's enough of that.)




Fall leaves, 1937.





'Tater Harvest, October 1949.





Apple Pickin', Sept. 1950s







Upstate New York, 1960s





Pumpkin Faces, Naples 1950s




The view from my front porch 3 evenings ago.




Happy Halloween!

Snow Happens

Due to unseasonably cold temperatures and this afternoon's freak snow, it's not looking very much like Autumn in the Pocono Mountains. At all. In fact, look at what that back-stabbing mother nature did to mah garden (which was still going strong until today):



The petunias are toast.




I know what you're thinking: "aww, how purdy are those mums"...




...sonofabitch!




More mums. Muerte.




My nuts. Let me show you them.




Ferns losing their ferny green glow.




My ornamental grass, fuki plants and what's left of the morning glories have bought the farm and a one-way ticket to Deadsville.




Magic mushrooms minus the magic.




Possessed Squirrel laughs at you silly humans and eats your nuts.




Pink Flamingo isn't putting up with any more shit today.

Thriller

Continuing on with the Halloween ABC's of the Gashlycrumb Tinies:

T is for Titus who flew into bits.



T is also for tree.

You know, about a month ago I was all sorts of crazy cuckoo for fall. But at this point of the season when the leaves are almost all off the trees and you have to warm up your car in the mornings, I can say I'm officially over it. It's been great and all, but I say GOOD DAY SIR. I forgot about all the crap parts of the season: carving pumpkins seems like super fun, but you forget about the actual gutting-out of the innards of the pumpkin and remind me again, why was this fun? And hot diggity, the leaves sure are purdy to look at when they change color and all, but then they fall off and rot and make your sinuses a very unhappy and frightening place for the next few months until the snow comes and I can bitch about how much snow sucks and I wish it was still Autumn. See how the mind of a grumpy girl works?

(This is what every inch of my yard looks like and the product of my migraine and sneezing doom. Guess who gets to rake it? And by "rake it" I mean do absolutely nothing.)



In fact, I think the makers of generic Claritin should put me on their annual Christmas card mailing list, to thank me for the buckets-o-cash I've thrown their way for these damn leaf mold allergies. And you know the Very Important Claritin Moguls' wives are all the Betty Crocker housewife types who send out those annoying family picture Xmas cards, the ones where The Perfect Family wear matching green turtlenecks and oversized sweaters with bells and light-up trees on them and go to JC Penney to have their retarded perma-smile faces captured on film to nauseate their friends and family, complete with a snowy winterland scene backdrop. And if you're really lucky you'll get a typed note about The Perfect Family and all their minute and meaningless "accomplishments" over the past year, thinking that the card recipients really care that Timmy is taking piano lessons and Bob scored a perfect game of golf when in reality no one gives a flying rat's ass and in a few years you'll find the Perfect Family's card thrown into a box of random loose pictures and no one will remember who they are or who they're related to. I think the Generic Claritin Big Cheeses owe me that much.

Welcome to the Poconos! Come see Autumn in it's splendor.




* "Thriller" by Michael Jackson.

Seasons In The Sun

Today's the first day of fall, y'all! But August was a sucktastic month as far as summer-like months go. It pretty much felt like fall for the past couple of weeks. Global Warming you say? Ha! I say to you, ha! Ice Age is more like it, my homeslices. This morning was a morning of firsts: For the first time in a months I had to put on actual socks (as opposed to non-actual socks?), instead of just slipping on Chucks, sans-sock. And for the past couple of weeks the leaves 'round these here parts have been *trying* to change, but it was more like they went from green to lesser green to just plain dead and then they fell to the ground. But this morning was thee first time I noticed one single leaf getting it's orange-on, waaay up high in my giant front tree with the Mysterious Birdhouse.



Yeah I know the picture is tragic, but it was 3 (!) stories up in the tree and I don't have high-tech, space-age, high-falutin' camera attachments for such an occasion as "Capturing Leaf Hue Variables", so DEAL WITH IT, INGRATES. Try to share the beauty of freaking nature and her freaking wonders and you expect me to be Annie Liebowitz. GOSH.

Anyway and lastly, it was the first time I saw frost on the car windows. FROST, mo-fo's! Well that seems a little uncalled for so early in the season, doesn't it? And you know it's only a matter of time before you start to think about turning on the heat, but considering the price of gas and oil and not to mention electric bills, the idea of turning on the heat makes you consider getting all mountain-folk survivalist on your family's ass and build fires and can your own food and hunt your own...squirrel.

Or whatever. I'm just sayin'. Maybe fall is one of those seasons that starts out all romantic and dreamy and full of wonder and crap and ends up with your butt shivering on the vinyl car seat, sticking your face in the steam of your Dunkin Donuts coffee trying to unthaw, swearing that THIS year you're gonna buy a remote starter and snow blower and pay the neighborhood teens to shovel your driveway, knowing full well that none of it's gonna happen but maybe next year.

(***Cheesy Segue Alert***)

Speaking of chilly weather and saving on heating costs, why not stock up on vintage cardigans? I must say that selling vintage sweaters from the 50's-60's is an obsession of mine and I also must say that I am always well-stocked with them, roughly carrying 20 at a time (though more in the coming winter months). Oddly, I sell more sweaters than vintage dress. Go figure. The recent additions look even more fantastic, thanks to my brand new vixen of a mannequin, as opposed to the little stump of a dress form I was using with the linebacker shoulders that I would not mind setting on fire and drifting out to sea, like a grand Nordic funeral for a dearly departed friend. Or whatever.

Here's a sample preview of what's COMING SOON this week to Fast Eddie's Retro Rags:

50's White Hot Waffle-Weave Bolero:



50's Pink Pinup Kerrybrooke Bolero Cardigan Sweater, NOS:



60's Hot Pink Embroidered Flowers Cardigan Sweater, NOS:



Here a quickie sample of what's AVAILABLE NOW:

Rhinestone Starburst Vintage 50's Cardigan Sweater w/Pink Plastic Leaves:



Beaded & Sequins Vintage 50's Cardigan Sweater, NOS:



3-D Mushrooms Vintage 50's Doreen Cashmere Cardigan Sweater: