Way-Out Wednesday: Art & Soul

Welcome to Way-Out Wednesday!



Every once in a while I like to take a break from spotlighting vintage and focus on the handmade/artsy folk, the ones that create something that "moves me" in some way, shape or form. (That sounds cheesy, I know. Work with me and my corniness here, people.)

Today I'm showing original prints from Mari Lowery Photography, all available for super decent prices on Etsy. She takes photos of things in her neighborhood in New York like old store window displays, front yards, kitschy things at Coney Island. You know, pretty random stuff. But it works because of the vintage vibe in her shots: the 50's-esque, grainy and watery colors combined with this sort of underlying dark and slightly creepy edge. Perfect for Way-Out Wednesday! Here are a few of her prints currently available for sale~

Lucy In Disguise With Diamonds.

I bet you'll never guess who this is! If you guess it right away, then la-dee-freaking-da. But if you don't, don't feel bad. It took me a minute of staring at these pics before I had to accept the fact that it wasn't a drag queen.






It's Kathy Griffin! No, seriously, it's Kathy Griffin. Doing what every celebrity does at some point to either jump-start their sagging career or as a wacky act of doing something "unique"-the Bettie Page/pinup photo shoot. Photography done by Mike Ruiz, who is totally brill with a camera. I loove his work, it's very moody and sometimes dark and sometimes retro, but all done very well. You can check out his portfolio on his website Mike Ruiz Photography.

And I'm not hatin' on Kathy. I used to really like her back in the day when she was just a nerdy girl doing her nerdy thang, and didn't shove in your face how "D-list" she is, like she does know. We get it, Kathy, you're a slightly crappy actress and comedienne. You know how we know that? Because you tell us every chance you get how you're a slightly crappy actress and comedienne. (Though I'm slightly annoyed for having the exact same hair as me!) If she hasn't been airbrushed to death then her body rocks and the pics are pretty damn good! Still, at the end of the day, "Kathy Griffin" and "sexy, lingerie photo shoot" go together about as well as "scrape my eyes with a fork" and "lemon juice."

Way-Out Wednesday: Art Attack.

It's [a super late for no good reason for my actions] Way-Out Wednesday!



Today's collection of supercool oddities comes in the form of digital pieces-o-art, from Etsy seller Lewie's Playhouse. Explanation of technological how-to is beyond my feeble basic computer know-how, but all's I can say is this guy takes retro images, slaps 'em together, collages the hell out of 'em, gets the finished product onto paper, and finally signs them, all fancy-like. See? My tech knowledge is pathetic. I should be ashamed if I wasn't so indifferent. I really can't explain how he does it. All I know is that I love these pictures!


Behold, the wonders of someone who knows what the hell they're doing!

Atomic Tuesday: What A Card!

Welcome to Atomic Tuesday!



Today's pick is this set of Retro Mid-Century Modern Atomic Holiday Cards~ it even says "Wishing You a Very Hip Holiday Season" inside! These cards are made by Etsy seller Two Poodle Press. I really dig these cards, in all their unconventional Xmas-iness. (If you replaced the pink with orange, they'd be in my all-time favorite color scheme, FYI.)



And for extra matchy-matchy, she also offers these matching gift tags. Swell!

Aqua Blue Heaven Friday: The Wreath Of Khan.

Welcome to Aqua Blue Heaven Friday! In keeping with the holiday theme around here, this friday's pick-o-aqua splendor is one of my most favorites so far this xmas- the wreath. But no ordinary, boring-ass, traditional, humdrum wreath. These are full of space-agey, clever, atomic-ish, creative, retrotastic, cosmic, unconventional goodness! (That's a little much, I know. Just roll with it.)

All of these wreaths are homemade by crafty bitches on Etsy, and they are fanTAStic. (See how I even showed the emphasis on "fantastic"? That's how you know I'm serious.) Most of these wreaths use upcycled vintage bits & pieces, like glass ornaments & aluminum stars. An ingenious idea, really, to use all those Shiny Brites sitting around that might be scratched up, and all those kitschy/tacky vintage Xmas plastic figurines and whatnot. Hell, I've literally got cases of Shiny Brites to use up. Such a simple idea, yet so cool! (I'm SO stealing this idea this winter, when stuck inside, you'll see!)

Enjoy!





Green Peacock Feather Wreath.





Crepe Paper Flowers Wreath.





Tinsel Wreath with Presents & Pinecones.





Pink Tinsel & Vintage Ornaments Wreath.





Vintage Bottle Brush Wreath with Deer.

Vintage Giveaway: It's a Holiday Swanktacular!

It's vintage giveaway time again, kiddies! Being as though it's the "mooost wun-der-ful tiiiiiime... of the year!", I thought this month was a great choice in showing how much I've appreciated you guys over the past year- your comments, your emails, the new followers to this train wreck of a blog and the new friends I've made- by doing the biggest giveaway yet! It might not be as grand what other people are doing, what with their Target gift cards and whatnot (I made that up- but if you know who's giving those away, let me know), but it's definitely not one you'll see anywhere else. It's little. Yellow. Different. It's my way, so quit yer bitching and don't make me pull this car over and come back there and slap you into next week. The holidays don't officially start until someone yells, someone cries, and then there's presents. Ho ho ho!

December's giveaway will be a chunk-o-vintage items, a chunk-o-retro items and some just for fun. Keep it, resell it, give it away as presents. I don't care what you do with it, just make sure you pass along a little gratitude to someone else along the way. You could call it "paying it forward", but I wouldn't, because I hate that term. I may be jaded, grumpy and a raging bitch, but I do carry a My Name is Earl-ian way of life: "Do good things, and good things happen". You can be jaded and grumpy too, just do something nice for someone else, OK? Or else.


Shuddup and get with the free stuff already!


Here's the whole cannoli:



Seeing as though that's a craptacular picture, I'll break it down for you, clockwise (ish):




1.) Handpainted, blown glass retro tree ornaments. Brand new and they come in a cool, old fashioned-ish wood crate.






2.) A brand new sequined/beaded poodle applique and a set of vintage 40's new old stock green buttons.






3.) A pair of vintage 50's lacy nylon gloves.






4.) A can of "Quick Snow"! Brand new, makes 3 gallons of fake snow, non-toxic and environmentally safe. So there's that.






5.) A set of vintage 60's potholders. They're new old stock, in their original package, never used. (These red & green kitchen-themed ones are the closest I could find to Xmas-themed ones. Yeah. Not very close at all, really.)






6.), 7.) and 8.) A vintage 40's/50's grey organdy apron w/lace & red topstitching, a vintage Xmas tree-embroidered napkin and a set of brand new, unscented silver taper candles.






9.) A vintage 50's winter white thermoset-esque plastic necklace.






10.) 2 vintage 50's unused Christmas cards.






11.) and 12.) A copyright 1972 Frosty the Snowman Little Golden book and a retro wood snowman tealight holder (or something- I'm not entirely sure what it's for. Maybe you keep your Vicodin in it.)






13.) A retro set of 4 glass holiday swizzle sticks.






14.) A set of 2 ruby red crystal martini glasses. The set is brand new, unused, with the store stickers still on the bottoms. And these suckers are heeaa-vy. And I don't mean that in a hippie 70's slang kind of way. They really do weigh a friggin' ton.






15.) A vintage 50's (?) club (as in playing cards) cookie cutter. New old stock, unused and in it's original plastic bag.





So, to enter: leave me a comment on this blog post anytime between now and December 8th, when I'll pick & announce the winner! If you don't follow my blog, all new followers will get a double entry to the giveaway! Everyone is welcome to enter and it's totally free to you! Good luck!

Today's Post Is Brought To You By The Letters "F" and "U"

Which stands for "Forty?!...Ugh...". (What did you think I meant?)

Happy 40th Birthday, Sesame Street! It's hard to believe that as of yesterday Sesame Street has been running for 40 years. (!!) I feel so old. Now that most of the characters have wrong-sounding voices, maybe it's time for the show to gracefully take a bow, though it'll be a sad day when it does. It's a double-edged sword, isn't it? You don't want a huge chunk of your youth to be gone forever, yet you don't want it to turn all sorts of wrong, either. Darn you Sesame Street, for making me overthink your relevance!

I know I've shown this picture once before some time back, but it's seriously my most favorite picture of the people in your neighborhood. If I were to get a tattoo that'd I regret when I was 80, it'd be of this:



After 40 years of singing about ladybug picnics, being roommates with an angry in-the-closet OCD bottlecap collector, living in a garbage can with a worm who's the only person that can stand being around you, having one-sided conversations with a pet goldfish, being the only vegetarian vampire who's spends his days counting random things for apparently no good reason, falling down stairs with 12 coconut cream pies, singing songs with celebrities that no 5 year old could possibly know, living among 2 furry octopus-like monsters from outer space who are scared of ringing telephones and enabling a future-diabetic's cookie problem, it's no wonder the gang of Sesame Street turned to a life of crime.

Cherry Pie

Oh the horror! The humanity! The blasphemy! Why, you sick little freak baby Jebus, WHY? If this is an intwebz hoax, then someone's going down, and not in the good way: Pushing Daisies has been CANCELLED, my pretty bitches. Say WHA?! How can those Hollywood fat cat big cheese bastardos cancel PD, yet leave us with such televisional abortions like 90210 and The Starter Wife?! Pushing Daisies was great. It combined all my favorite things: morbid and slightly wrong plots, a fantastically retro 50's and 60's inspired set and wardrobe, sick irony (the lovers who can never smooch, it's so evil and I like it) and pie. Next to Mad Men, Pushing Daisies was the next best thing to getting yer vintage freak on. Maria, take a letter:

"Dear Hollywood assjacks,
YOU SUCK. And also, I hate you.

Yours truly,
Kim

PS. Watch yo' backs, buttwads"


So one more of my homies got gunned down before it's time. Is there a liquor store open yet? Colt 45 must be bought.

Enjoy some lovely PD eye candy. ENJOY IT, I said.

Hey, Big Spender

There's the most boring train wreck of a book out, called "Hollywood Pinups" ($39.95, y'all) by Timothy White. Here's a twist: it's a book with pictures of Hollywood celebs posing all old-timey and retro-y. I bet you never woulda guessed that. Yeah well, that idea is actually smashing and I was so psyched when I first heard about this book coming out, that Hollywood was finally going back to it's roots, as it were. Timothy White was inspired by the the artwork of Vargas' pinups and the whole rockabilly/40's-50's/old Hollywood glamour thang. Like that hasn't been done before. Can you say "Dita"? Or "Bernie Dexter"? Or any of of the other generic 4 kajillion wanna-be's out there who are also "inspired" by the 40's and 50's? *Yawn*. How underwhelming.

The inspiration. How novel:




Turns out, it's less spank-worthy and more snooze-inducing. While I do appreciate the effort (it's not ALL tragic), and 100% of the proceeds go to fight global poverty, or whatever. But it's like I always never say: "The road to hell is paved with good intentions". And this book could have rocked our faces off. There are Olsen Twins involved, people. Freaking OLSEN TWINS!! They're about as sexy as a half-naked Bea Arthur.

Maybe I'm just in a super crabby mood today. Am I being too critical? Too harsh, for no good reason? You tell me. Behold the "meh"-ness of it all:

Tea Leoni (with hair that I would kill for, if I was ballsier), doing an apparent Marilyn-esque deal:



You will never guess who this is. This pic doesn't do justice to the chick in question...I'll give you a minute to ponder...Or stare at her butt crack, whatever, pervs...



...Give up? Here's a hint: she usually looks like a carbon copy of her mom. And likes dirty hippies. Still don't know? It's Kate Hudson. (!) Seriously.


Ok, Susan Sarandon looks pretty fantastic for a 60-something. You go, girl. Of course, I'd look like a Grade A side of beef too, if I had a hairstylist. And makeup person. And wardrober. And photoshopper. But still, I'd look great too.



And last but not least, my little dumplings, is probably the worst Bettie Page impression ever to have burned my retinas:

Brick House

Amy. GIRL.



I can't even begin to tell you how relieved I am that someone is finally bringing back the black acid wash jeans and mesh tank top Fire Island look. And the Little Orphan Annie white girl 'fro is always a winner.

It's time to play...



Wooly Winehouse! Yay!

Add a Burt Reynolds 'stache and ample chest fur...




...And you get 70's porn star Ron Jeremy!



What can YOU make with Wooly Winehouse? Seriously, I love the kid. But for the love of Priscilla Presley, I really wish she'd eat a few Arby's Beef & Cheddars, gain a pound or 30, and get the ratted beehive back. She had such a snazzy, retro early 60's voice ("Snazzy"?! Apparently I'm 80) and rocked such a cool style, when she gave a rat's ass. Kind of like a modern version of 1984's Madonna. That's it. I can't take it anymore. Someone give her my number. Tell her to call me, we'll have coffee and talk, no big whoop.