Hey, Big Spender

There's the most boring train wreck of a book out, called "Hollywood Pinups" ($39.95, y'all) by Timothy White. Here's a twist: it's a book with pictures of Hollywood celebs posing all old-timey and retro-y. I bet you never woulda guessed that. Yeah well, that idea is actually smashing and I was so psyched when I first heard about this book coming out, that Hollywood was finally going back to it's roots, as it were. Timothy White was inspired by the the artwork of Vargas' pinups and the whole rockabilly/40's-50's/old Hollywood glamour thang. Like that hasn't been done before. Can you say "Dita"? Or "Bernie Dexter"? Or any of of the other generic 4 kajillion wanna-be's out there who are also "inspired" by the 40's and 50's? *Yawn*. How underwhelming.

The inspiration. How novel:




Turns out, it's less spank-worthy and more snooze-inducing. While I do appreciate the effort (it's not ALL tragic), and 100% of the proceeds go to fight global poverty, or whatever. But it's like I always never say: "The road to hell is paved with good intentions". And this book could have rocked our faces off. There are Olsen Twins involved, people. Freaking OLSEN TWINS!! They're about as sexy as a half-naked Bea Arthur.

Maybe I'm just in a super crabby mood today. Am I being too critical? Too harsh, for no good reason? You tell me. Behold the "meh"-ness of it all:

Tea Leoni (with hair that I would kill for, if I was ballsier), doing an apparent Marilyn-esque deal:



You will never guess who this is. This pic doesn't do justice to the chick in question...I'll give you a minute to ponder...Or stare at her butt crack, whatever, pervs...



...Give up? Here's a hint: she usually looks like a carbon copy of her mom. And likes dirty hippies. Still don't know? It's Kate Hudson. (!) Seriously.


Ok, Susan Sarandon looks pretty fantastic for a 60-something. You go, girl. Of course, I'd look like a Grade A side of beef too, if I had a hairstylist. And makeup person. And wardrober. And photoshopper. But still, I'd look great too.



And last but not least, my little dumplings, is probably the worst Bettie Page impression ever to have burned my retinas: