Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip...
Blue: "This Single Ladies Past A Certain Age Boat Trip was a swell idea! A 3 hour tour around an uncharted desert isle with a cast of sexy men that in any real-life situation would be considered untouchable losers? Sign ME up, girlfriend... And who is that tall drink of water with the big shnoz? I call dibs on the skinny one with the nerdy bucket hat! What's his job on the boat, exactly?"
Red: "I think he's in charge of lousing shit up and ruining all attempts of rescue missions. You know, things like shorting out the coconut cream pie walkie talkies and somehow sinking the otherwise-unsinkable homemade bamboo raft that's been held together using 7 years worth of hair clippings. And he's the only one who's capable of getting everyone tied up in a pot of boiling water by the Angry Cannibal Natives that live on the other side of the island, so he's got that going for him."
Blue: "He sounds perfect! You know me: I like 'em long, lean and borderline retarded."
Red: "He's all yours, sweetheart. Now let's see, what piece of man-meat will I be calling mine for the day...Oh sweet merciful crap. Bingo! Break me off a piece of that! I call dibs on the portly, red-nosed one they call the Skipper. You know me: I like 'em fat, angry and borderline abusive."
Many thanks to Bonton Vintage for offering the vintage 50's McCall pattern-o-inspiration!