Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Welcome to Way-Out Wednesday! Just yesterday I was waxing poetic (not really) about Autumn and how do I love it, let me count the ways. But one major reason for the kickassery of Fall that I forgot to mention is this: no more open-toed shoes! (Said in my best Joan Crawford voice.) No more sandals! No more flip-flops! No more Birkenstocks! No more Crocs! What I'm getting at: no more FEET.
Loathsome creatures, feet. I'll never understand the foot fetish crowd, really, picking out the grossest part of the body next to, say, the lower intestine, and worshipping it is beyond my imagination. I can't think about it any more. I mean, ick...must go to a happy place...go to a happy place...unicorns and rainbows...unicorns and rainbows...
So what- *gulp*- joy it was, looking for vintage foot-related items to best express the lovely, lovely foot theme of the day. I did find 2 great specimens ("specimens"- can I make today any more disgusting? Why yes, I believe I can. In fact, you KNOW I can. Let's move on instead.) It's not that these 2 items of the day are bad, in fact, they are quite kitschy, it's just...like most Way-Out Wednesday treats, I have to wonder why such things even get made. ? At any rate, I'm sure I'm the black sheep here with my hatred-o-feets, so perhaps you all won't find these to be horrors. In which case, "enjoy". And I totally say that with air quotes. And jazz hands. Always with jazz hands. But not happy feet.
Vintage Plastic Foot Charms. Ok, really? Are severed feet ever a good idea for charm bracelets? (I must admit, I do rather like the idea.) But still. All I know is that whichever employee of Miss Chang's House of Nails painted those toes should be bludgeoned.
Vintage Souvenir Feet Salt & Pepper Shakers. Ha-ha, Oregon: you smell! (But have such lovely painted nails.) Can you imagine, your friend goes on vacation, comes back and hands you these. "Hey, buddy! Look what reminded me of you when I was in Oregon!" ...These make me think of the movie Saw. Yep. Think about it for a second. You're welcome.
"Your Feet's Too Big" by Fats Waller.