Monday, June 16, 2008

Forty Miles Of Bad Road

I'm sorry (not sorry), but I can't take any more talk of floods or rivers or water or flooding rivers. Unless of course something truly kickass happens, like the flood washes out a carnival and a gang of midgets (little people, SORRY) riding on top of elephants who are eating the organ grinder while his monkey is singing O Solo Mio is floating down the street, I can't talk about it anymore. I just...can't.

Mother Nature is a beotch. Weather happens people, why do we always get so surprised when the weather takes a dump on us somewhere in the States? Well let me make a few predictions. I bet this summer the West and Southwest will get really, really...wait for it...HOT. Record-breaking kind of hot. The kind of hot that everyone will talk about for a week straight, including water shortages, bans on washing cars and Ye Olde Swimmin' Hole drying up and who will think of the children?! "It's gonna be a hot one today"- you THINK so genius? And my amazing psychic powers of powerful psychic amazement don't end there, let me take a stab at what this winter will be like. I'll bet this winter there will be...wait for it..SNOW. And I bet there will be aLOT of it somewhere, say, New England. I bet there will be SO much snow somewhere that the township will be in a state of emergency. I bet schools will even close. Take THAT Miss Cleo, I can predict the future too.

It's hot. White hot. From MY weather beotch (I don't know what that means either) Julie of Damn Good Vintage.

Too bad it's on hold. Sorry (not sorry), I couldn't help myself from showing it off. See?! The lesson: Life will always be full of sick humor, it doesn't stop but eventually it's funny. Next stop: Tornado in the newly rebuilt Kansas trailer park!

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