My (Aqua) Blue Heaven Fridays!

Welcome to the second edition (installment? part? episode? what is it?! what do I call you, weekly feature?!) of aqua-hued vintage on Fridays! I'm calling it "My (Aqua) Blue Heaven". Clever, no? Yeah, I know it's not. It took me all of 3.5 minutes to think of it and you guys gotta admit, it's better than my suggestions from last week, so suck it up and love it. LOVE IT SO HARD. Or at least, agree it doesn't suck as much as it could. (That's what he said. Shut up, it is too still funny!)

So the weather has been cold and crappy and grey and rainy and all around unpleasant and not at all June-like all this week. So naturally a jerk-y ol' Scorpio like myself loves it. But get this: apparently most of the population of Earth actually enjoys the sun shining and beautiful days. I know. I couldn't believe it either. What is wrong with humans? Thank jebus I'm not one.

So for today's theme, here are some of my favorite vintage picks in shades of aqua, good for playing lawn darts...or cattle-branding...or assembling an entire village out of dried banana leaves and coconuts after your ship the Minnow crashes onto a tropical island, or whatever else it is that people do in the summer. Enjoy, heat-seeking, fireball-worshipping humanoids of Earth!



Hot damn, I'd stick my hand in a bag of razorblades and vinegar (what? I don't know either, just go with it) for this vintage 50's hot slice of lovin' (what?) from Dorothea's Closet Vintage.




Killer vintage 50's halter dress from Past Perfect Vintage. It's the quilted picker-upper.





Cutest stripey vintage 60's dress from Metro Retro Vintage.





Amazing vintage 50's spike-heeled stilettos~ look how great they go with the stripey dress above! It's like fate! Or kismet! Or coincidence! From Viva Vintage Clothing.





Super skinny, super cool vintage 50's/60's tie from Glad Rags & Curios.






Vintage 60's men's barkcloth cabana swim set- even Elvis himself would roll outta his grave for this set (or return to Earth from his alien abduction. Or make a rare appearance from his trailer court in Reno. Go with whichever one you believe.) From Living*Doll*Vintage.

Forty Miles Of Bad Road

I'm sorry (not sorry), but I can't take any more talk of floods or rivers or water or flooding rivers. Unless of course something truly kickass happens, like the flood washes out a carnival and a gang of midgets (little people, SORRY) riding on top of elephants who are eating the organ grinder while his monkey is singing O Solo Mio is floating down the street, I can't talk about it anymore. I just...can't.

Mother Nature is a beotch. Weather happens people, why do we always get so surprised when the weather takes a dump on us somewhere in the States? Well let me make a few predictions. I bet this summer the West and Southwest will get really, really...wait for it...HOT. Record-breaking kind of hot. The kind of hot that everyone will talk about for a week straight, including water shortages, bans on washing cars and Ye Olde Swimmin' Hole drying up and who will think of the children?! "It's gonna be a hot one today"- you THINK so genius? And my amazing psychic powers of powerful psychic amazement don't end there, let me take a stab at what this winter will be like. I'll bet this winter there will be...wait for it..SNOW. And I bet there will be aLOT of it somewhere, say, New England. I bet there will be SO much snow somewhere that the township will be in a state of emergency. I bet schools will even close. Take THAT Miss Cleo, I can predict the future too.

It's hot. White hot. From MY weather beotch (I don't know what that means either) Julie of Damn Good Vintage.



Too bad it's on hold. Sorry (not sorry), I couldn't help myself from showing it off. See?! The lesson: Life will always be full of sick humor, it doesn't stop but eventually it's funny. Next stop: Tornado in the newly rebuilt Kansas trailer park!

As The Clouds Drift By

While pondering life in blog-land, I sat here for a long time thinking about such mind-shattering things like what to even name this damn thing, what is interesting enough to write about and who am I and why should you care? Two words. Jayne Mansfield. She and I have more in common than our devastating good looks and monstrous racks. See, Jayne is buried in the wee hick town that I was born and raised in and as grim of a connection as that may be, her "presence" about town played a huge role in who I became.



Growing up, it was just normal to hear in conversation things like "Oh, that's the house where Jayne stayed in the summer with her aunt" or "Jayne's makeup case is on display, you know, the one that was with her in the 'death car', wanna go see it?". Any local yocal over the age of 40 had a "Jayne story" and whether they were true or simply wishful thinking, they were some kickass stories. Certainly she was the poor man's Marilyn, we all knew that. Let's face it, the woman couldn't act to save her life and her singing left much to the imagination. But to our town, she was a goddess of legend. To me, she became fashion inspiration.



The woman's fashion sense embodies everything I adore about the era and what I model my own wardrobe after. Lurex? Of course! Springolators? Naturally! Leopard? Always! If you can't move- let alone breathe- while wearing it, it's perfect.



So Jayne, thanks for being a little bit trashy and a little bit rock and roll. I wish I could have met you.

Want to make Jayne proud? Of course you do, you little minx. Here are a few things to glam out with your gams out.
From yours truly, this mankilling silver lurex vintage 50's Ceeb swimsuit, available at Fast Eddie's Retro Rags, click pic to get there:




From Dorothea's Closet Vintage, this ridiculously curve-hugging 60's pink beaded gown: