Daddy Sang Bass

Happy Father's Day to all you manly types! I hope you all get awesomely bad presents, because that's what Father's Day is for, crappy gift-giving from your ungrateful children who also don't call enough and could do so much better than that loser boyfriend of theirs and if they only applied themselves more, they wouldn't be stuck in a cubicle office job and also, why don't you visit more often?! Damn kids, they're so overrated.

May I present a few suggestions for the perfect Father's Day gift:

1.) A 40 of Colt 45. If it's good enough for Billy Dee it's good enough for me, I always never say.



Is your Pop less cool and more nerdy white guy? A sixer of Schlitz oughtta do it.



2.) Mmmm, Lucky Strikes.



3.) Since every man thinks he's the master of the meat grillin', these super rad vintage 50's coasters are perfecto for his Schlitz from EraPhernaliaVintage. Plus, what's with the floating heads? Did they not notice his apron says "Head Chef"?!



4.) Every Dad needs a tie, whether he'll actually wear it or not is irrelevant. It's the thought, dammit. This 50's tie from Hatfeathers Vintage is a little Dali-esque and a little cartoony. Much like my life. Jenn actually has a lot of awesome vintage ties--I almost wrote "toes", which I'm sure hers are lovely and all but a severed toe would NOT a great present make. Unless you were that cannibal BBQ chef above.



It might be a bit late for these presents, but there's always next year. You can always do what I do- buy stuff early, hide it, then spend the next 364 days trying to remember where you hid it all. And I only ever have one hiding spot, and that's in my closet, so the fact that I panic and forget where I put it is kind of sad.

In hommage to the day of the dad, here are a couple of me and my Dad, rocking the white guy 'fro. It was the 70's after all and he was a bad mutha', shut yo mouth.

Doing what I like to do best. Although there's no empty Jack Daniels bottle.



Doing my second favorite thing, partying my face off.



Wow. What a badass. The nerd doesn't fall far from the tree.



Happy Father's Day!