Thursday, June 12, 2008

Moonshine Martinis

You know, I don't live in a super urban area, it's not hip or trendy, yet it isn't backwoods Inbredville either. It *used* to be much more hick-ish, but the past 10 years this area has been flooded with out of state transplants and commuters, so I wonder where all the local yocals that *used* to be here went?! Every once in a while when the Last Of The Yocals come out from their cabins in the woods and head into the Big City to do their Dollar Tree shoppin', much to my amusement I get in on their conversations, from the toothpaste aisle while they're comparing toiler paper. Like I did yesterday. You call it eavesdropping? I call it a free show!

We join our cast in the middle of a conversation. Translators are standing by. Let's listen in...(and the teeth-grindingly annoying conversation went something like this:)

Woman 1: Billy said he seen you's guys down by the crick.
(translation: Billy told me that he saw you guys at the creek)

Woman 2: Yeah, him an' his girlfriend was tryin' to fix them holes in his tars he got from drivin' 'round in the junkyard last saterdee night
(translation: Billy and his girlfriend were trying to fix the holes in his tires from driving around in the junkyard last saturday night)

***Intermission....I couldn't take it anymore and carried on with my white trashy Dollar Tree shoppin'....met up with them again later in the Snicker doodles and heard...

Woman 1: Jaeat yet?
(translation: Did you eat yet?)

Woman 2: Larry's takin' me to that carnival down the way and we're gonna git sauseege and peppers. Y'comin?
(translation: Larry is taking me to the carnival and we're going to get sausage and peppers. Are you coming?)

At that point I was close to pulling a Van Gogh just so's I didn't have to listen anymore. Good times with the yocals. But like I never say, you can have a good time in moderation!

And therein lies the stupidness. This is PENNSYLVANIA. We are not southern, we are nowhere near the south geographically-speaking. In fact we fought the South in the Civil Way, people. Go Billy Yanks! Yet the old timers around here have a slight twang that MAKES NO SENSE. Maybe that's why it's called "Pennsyltucky".

Well if you're gonna talk like a yocal, you better DRESS like one! Although, not so much in a Clampett-rope-belt way, but a Petticoat Junction way. Like this cute vintage 60's pink gingham set from Morning Glorious!

(Now...have you's guys seen where I done left my banana puddin'?)

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