Monday, June 9, 2008

The Battle Of New Orleans

Remember a couple months ago I said family day trips are generally a better idea in theory than they actually are? No? How dare you. Let me recap: family day trips are generally a better idea in theory than they actually are. Case in point: this past weekend, just as I knew it was coming, The Fam had to take a trip to Gettysburg, not so much for the fun of it but more as a requirement for the ball and chain's grad class. Nay, he and the small fry thought it was maximum fun, to quote: "totally awesome!" Boys like canons and things that explode and make noise...

Yay! Canons are great!

...but me? Mehhhh...ugghhh. <---Actual sounds uttered by me. Ass hot (100 degrees, people), all outside, surrounded by tourists, walking. All things I loathe, with feeling! Don't get me wrong, Gettysburg has some kickass history which I do find interesting, to a degree, just not 100 of them. For instance, Devils Den.


Though my distance perception is off kilter, these ginormous rock mounds were billions of feet high. Can you can see the wee little random stranger standing at the top? I was at the bottom looking up, so these bitch rocks were HIGH and not "as a kite". Apparently the Calvary skulking across the fields had to climb over these piles-o-rocks and I guess it wasn't so much with the good times. So of course the boys had to climb them, to experience what they did, and all that. But not me. Unless Johnny Depp is at the top with a kiddie pool full of frozen daiquiris, my butt is staying at the bottom, thanks. Have fun, don't fall off, I'll wait in the car in the air conditioning, because that's what the soldiers would have done. No? Oh, crap. I suck at the "walk a mile in their shoes" and now a Gettysburg ghost will haunt me until I learn an After School Special kind of lesson.

Beautiful? Yes! Haunted? Not so much!

Did you know that Gettysburg is like the #1 most haunted place in the USA? Ghost Hunters said so, so it must be true. I took a jillion pictures, but no ghosts showed up an any of them- I ain't afraid of no ghosts, so what gives? Would they have shown up if it wasn't for those meddling kids? Was it the sight of the Mystery Machine that sent them in hiding? Damn you Scooby, damn you straight to hell.

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