It's Not Easy Being Green

Summer is officially here and you know what that means?! Forced fun outdoors, yay! At my house it means pool time. And by pool I do not mean a fancy pants one but those ghetto blow-up ones from the dollar store. Which is totally misleading because it was *55* dollars, not *A* dollar. Jerks. The pool has been blown up for 2 weeks now and did you know that you have to keep an eye on the chlorine and add more tablets, like, regularly? You probably did. But me? More with the daiquiri-blending and less with the chemical-checking!

I finally checked it today because I'm mom of the year and anyway it's been raining for the past week so there was no need to be outside tending to our sad excuse for a pool. All the tablets were dissolved and the pool was filled with actual stalagmites of mud at the bottom and suicidal bloated caterpillars that fell in from the trees above and now resemble fuzzy cocktail weenies. Also, I just wanted a chance to say "cocktail weenie". Should the water be slimy? My sources say no! You know what's a great idea? A cover! A novel idea that I should have thought of 2 weeks ago. There were things MOVING in it. Tiny squiggling nauseating things that I later found out were not tadpole babies like I initially freaked the funk out about but in fact, mosquito bambinos. Which is grosser? You decide! I thought perhaps frogs were doing it in the pool when no one was looking. You know how they get feisty from Boones Farm and Led Zeppelin records.

And may I take a moment and ask, were pickings REALLY that slim that Kermit had to settle for a verbally abusive pig as a mate? And about the mating, what would their spawn look like? Probably abominations that would make even baby jebus cry. What would this new disgusting breed of animal be called? Frigs? Because that is an excellent word. And chances are, they'd GET IT ON in my pool since that's where all the action happens apparently. They just better bring enough Boones Farm for the rest of us.

I'd much rather see frogs gettin' their freak on here, on this skirt. Cute novelty print vintage 60's skirt from Hooked On Vintage :



Cuter than Kermit and sans the skanky swine, this wonderful little vintage 70's patch oughtta do it. I'm not sure what that means either. From kissmyvintage: