Way-Out Wednesday: Rockin' Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu

Always the beacon of good taste and appropriateness, I thought today's Way-Out Wednesday should be dedicated to those pigs who are infecting the lower 48. And I don't mean the cast of Rock of Love. Thankyouverymuch. (Whaa? Is that not funny anymore?) No, I'm talking about a pig of a different color. So today's theme is in honor of a little something you might have heard of, the swine flu! Because you're not totally sick of hearing about it, right? I promise there will be no overdone jokes, though. This is a "stupid jokes about Kermit banging Miss Piggy and hence the swine flu was born"-free zone. But today's vintage finds of course have to have a theme, so why not make it all about the pigs? It's a porktacular! (Which is a word that I find so delightfully raunchy, since the only time I really use the word "pork" in a sentence is in reference to the act of porking, a la every early 80's teen comedy you've ever seen starring a Ringwald or a Cusack.) Let's move on to the porkfest, already... (OK, "porkfest?" I can't stop with the pork innuendos, I really can't. I'm sorry, I tried. Porkfest. Am I the only one who finds that word great? I am? Moving on.)



(It says "bone", uh huh huh huh. Sorry. The force is strong with this one.)

So now, on to today's Way-Out Wednesday's vintage hamtastic finds! (Ok, I'll stop already). All the items below are (as of right now) for sale, and so you know, I have zero affiliation with any of the sellers. Click any picture to take you to that listing, should you need more porking good fun in your life. (No really, I'm done.)



A disturbing vintage 50's tablecloth. Look at their wee faces, they totally know what's gonna happen next. Creepy...which I why I love it. Plus, I wish I had one of those oh-so-mid-century brick bbq pits like the dude has in the background. (Just like the one that Lucy and Ethel took apart to find Lucy's ring and put back together all half-assed and wrong.)





A ham tile. Right. Cool idea this seller has: take old tiles, cover with vintage ephemera (like pictures from 50's cookbooks or old magazine ads) and upcycle them into usable "art" again. I love that idea! But a ham roast tile? That isn't very...kosher. (Ha!)




Now we know who to blame for the swine flu. Jackie Gleason the infected ham.





Not vintage, but how cool are they? Teeny little ham sammiches! I love wee things! I wish I had the patience to do crafty things like this. I just love the randomness of these- ham sammich earring? Why not!




Male Chauvinist notepad from 1980! I love that. I bet some 80's douchey businessman type of guy got this as a gag gift from someone who bought it at Spencer's. And then did a line of blow off it.





"Rockin' Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu" by Johnny Rivers

What's New, Pussycat?

Hey y'all! Turns out I'm not dead...only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. (Ha! Did you see that? Did you get that reference? Now that's what I call comedy, right? Retro movie quotes aren't played and over, are they? Anyone? Sigh. I know. I'll stop.) Actually, my ass was handed to me from a doozy of a flu for the past week. No big whoop, it's all good and I'm back, relatively germ-free. (And PS: what does "ass getting handed to you" even mean, anyway? According to the Urban Dictionary, it means- and I quote- "To be beaten like a Blind, Deaf, Dumb, Quadriplegic, Midget Hooker who owes her Pimp money." Umm, wha? That's beyond stupid. What exactly is beyond stupid is beyond me. I have too many questions today and should stop with the over thinking. But also, one more thing: the random and unnecessary capitalisation of words makes me stabby. Whichever loser wrote that entry should be beaten like a Blind, Deaf, Dumb, Quadriplegic, Midget Hooker who owes her Pimp money.) What was I saying? Anything important? Did I have a point? Who knows. All this DayQuil has me all verklempt. The peanut is neither a pea nor a nut. Discuss.

One quick update: the vintage 50's cat planter drawing will be this friday instead of today, like I originally said. Why? Because I said so. Also, announcing a winner on Friday the 13th seems ominous and wrong and great. So people, you have 2 more days to sign up by leaving a comment here or emailing me. It's totally free! No big whoop.