Way-Out Wednesday: Rockin' Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu

Always the beacon of good taste and appropriateness, I thought today's Way-Out Wednesday should be dedicated to those pigs who are infecting the lower 48. And I don't mean the cast of Rock of Love. Thankyouverymuch. (Whaa? Is that not funny anymore?) No, I'm talking about a pig of a different color. So today's theme is in honor of a little something you might have heard of, the swine flu! Because you're not totally sick of hearing about it, right? I promise there will be no overdone jokes, though. This is a "stupid jokes about Kermit banging Miss Piggy and hence the swine flu was born"-free zone. But today's vintage finds of course have to have a theme, so why not make it all about the pigs? It's a porktacular! (Which is a word that I find so delightfully raunchy, since the only time I really use the word "pork" in a sentence is in reference to the act of porking, a la every early 80's teen comedy you've ever seen starring a Ringwald or a Cusack.) Let's move on to the porkfest, already... (OK, "porkfest?" I can't stop with the pork innuendos, I really can't. I'm sorry, I tried. Porkfest. Am I the only one who finds that word great? I am? Moving on.)



(It says "bone", uh huh huh huh. Sorry. The force is strong with this one.)

So now, on to today's Way-Out Wednesday's vintage hamtastic finds! (Ok, I'll stop already). All the items below are (as of right now) for sale, and so you know, I have zero affiliation with any of the sellers. Click any picture to take you to that listing, should you need more porking good fun in your life. (No really, I'm done.)



A disturbing vintage 50's tablecloth. Look at their wee faces, they totally know what's gonna happen next. Creepy...which I why I love it. Plus, I wish I had one of those oh-so-mid-century brick bbq pits like the dude has in the background. (Just like the one that Lucy and Ethel took apart to find Lucy's ring and put back together all half-assed and wrong.)





A ham tile. Right. Cool idea this seller has: take old tiles, cover with vintage ephemera (like pictures from 50's cookbooks or old magazine ads) and upcycle them into usable "art" again. I love that idea! But a ham roast tile? That isn't very...kosher. (Ha!)




Now we know who to blame for the swine flu. Jackie Gleason the infected ham.





Not vintage, but how cool are they? Teeny little ham sammiches! I love wee things! I wish I had the patience to do crafty things like this. I just love the randomness of these- ham sammich earring? Why not!




Male Chauvinist notepad from 1980! I love that. I bet some 80's douchey businessman type of guy got this as a gag gift from someone who bought it at Spencer's. And then did a line of blow off it.





"Rockin' Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu" by Johnny Rivers

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Happy Valentines Day, my little lovers and fighters! It's rather a ridiculous day if you think about it, isn't it? It's programmed people (ie: men) to think we're supposed to bottle up our feelings all year but make a 24-hour long, grand gesture on just one day of the year, or else we're supposed to feel guilty if we don't? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for suppressing icky things like feelings and sensitivity and emotions. But I'd rather be told "I think you're OK, sort of" occasionally and maybe bought a junior bacon cheeseburger from Wendy's once in a while than hear nothing all year and then one day get bombarded with overpriced flowers, retarded stuffed animals on motorcycles, and oversized cards that scream the song "Brick House" every time you open it. We can thank John Cusack for ruining the day, what with his quirky romantic gestures and nice-guys-finish-first swagger, setting all mankind up for an epic fail. You can't compete with a boombox and a mixed tape of English ska.

So I guess I have to honor the day, or else the Whitman Sampler police will be onto me. Let me share the love with you, the only way I know how: the dysfunctional, disturbing and creepy way with questionable vintage Valentine's cards.