What's New, Pussycat?

Hey y'all! Turns out I'm not dead...only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. (Ha! Did you see that? Did you get that reference? Now that's what I call comedy, right? Retro movie quotes aren't played and over, are they? Anyone? Sigh. I know. I'll stop.) Actually, my ass was handed to me from a doozy of a flu for the past week. No big whoop, it's all good and I'm back, relatively germ-free. (And PS: what does "ass getting handed to you" even mean, anyway? According to the Urban Dictionary, it means- and I quote- "To be beaten like a Blind, Deaf, Dumb, Quadriplegic, Midget Hooker who owes her Pimp money." Umm, wha? That's beyond stupid. What exactly is beyond stupid is beyond me. I have too many questions today and should stop with the over thinking. But also, one more thing: the random and unnecessary capitalisation of words makes me stabby. Whichever loser wrote that entry should be beaten like a Blind, Deaf, Dumb, Quadriplegic, Midget Hooker who owes her Pimp money.) What was I saying? Anything important? Did I have a point? Who knows. All this DayQuil has me all verklempt. The peanut is neither a pea nor a nut. Discuss.

One quick update: the vintage 50's cat planter drawing will be this friday instead of today, like I originally said. Why? Because I said so. Also, announcing a winner on Friday the 13th seems ominous and wrong and great. So people, you have 2 more days to sign up by leaving a comment here or emailing me. It's totally free! No big whoop.

Cat Scratch Fever

Today is giveaway day, my little porkpies! Just my way way of saying thanks a million to my followers and readers and arch rivals, without you I'd be talking to myself and most of the time the voices don't answer back and that gets boring. You guys rock and/or roll. So keep following, always feel free to leave a comment, keep sending the "I don't get it" emails. A few more "You are the bane of my existence. Also, you're awesome" emails would not suck either.

So without further blabitty blah, let's get to the free crap already, GOSH. Up for your approval is this limp-wristed, dead-eyed, vintage cat planter! Or you can keep Sen-Sen in it for when the kids come over to visit because as everyone knows, kids love the Sen-Sen. (Ps. Did you know that it was marketed as "breath perfume"? Gross. That's a fail, unless by "perfume" they mean the likes of say, Aqua Velva.) I used it to hold pens by my phone, for all those phone calls I didn't get. Or you can put your weed in it, what do I care. The kitteh is a wee size at a little over 4" tall. It has some crazing and is a little dirty on the inside, but then again who isn't?





Everyone is welcome to sign up! I'll pick a name from a hat and announce the winner in a week, on the 11th. If you want in on the drawing, you can either leave a comment or send me an email to that email address over there...on the right somewhere --->. Don't leave any personal info in a comment, unless you want all the world to know your name and address. The only person who'll know that stuff is moi, so if someone does a drive-by past your house and leaves a basket of muffins, you'll know it's me. Or maybe I'll just shout pretty random and indifferent things as I drive past, like "Today is Alice Cooper's birthday!" and you'll know it's me. And also, today really is Alice Cooper's birthday. I hope he's reading this and signs up for the cat planter and wins, so I can do a drive-by past his house and shout random things.