Thursday, August 20, 2009

Where Is My Mind?

Oh, Spinnerin. I love you so. They're like crack to me, so full of the crazy. For those not in the know, vintage Spinnerin manuals are pattern & instruction booklets for making various kinds of crap by knitting it into a sweater. The sweaters themselves aren't what's nuts about them, in fact, the sweaters usually kick all kinds of ass and I would hoard them all if I had them in real life. It's the photo documentaries of the models in them that are so ridiculously stupid and make no sense. That makes them wonderful. I've mocked vintage Spinnerin magazines here before- I wouldn't say I'm totally obsessed with them, only slightly. There's a difference.

Here's another great, 1966's Spinnerin: His & Hers, so now the crazy comes in female AND male form! Great. First, the cover.


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Ooh, a summer scene! This should be fun AND fitting, since it's also summer! Yay! Ok. So. Let's see, what have we got here...Middle of the summer? Established that. Green murky water? I suppose. Maybe it's a lake. They get a pass, I suppose. Standing in green murky water with pants on? Umm, I guess...? What is that, like some random folding chair sitting in the water? Wha...? How very white trash of them. Fuzzy mohair sweaters in the middle of summer?!...Really?!


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This is why you can't screw with the upper class.


Man: "I can't believe the Johnsons are yachting on the same day we are! How gauche. We can't take ours out now."

Woman: "And would you look at Edith! She looks positively ghastly in that pantsuit. It looks like 200 pounds of chewed-up gum shoved into double knit. So I guess using an entire can of Aqua Net to keep my beehive in place was for nothing. Damn that Edith. That cow."

Man: "That's alright dear. I've cut their gas lines, emptied their water coolers, broke their oars AND it looks like a storm is rolling in! And I've just stolen their only life preserver! Mwuhahahaha!..."



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The cigarette is the only thing right with this picture.



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So...I guess we're not on the lake anymore? Where the hell are they now? And why do the women keep changing? Does Captain Tightslacks have a broad stashed at every port, literally? Spinnerin, you lost me.

"Listen to this, honey! There's an echo when I yell down your sweater! Hello down there?! Hello!--o!-o!-o!-o!-..."

Ironically, the page is titled "Paired to Perfection." Ha!



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Aaaaaand we're back on the water with the redhead now? That was fast. Captain Tightslacks prefers his women with a big rack, I take it? Soooo...a table in the middle of the lake? Perfectly reasonable.





"Where is my Mind" by the Pixies.

14 comments:

  1. "Captain Tightlacks!" I'll be laughing about that one for days! Your posts crack me UP! I agree...the cigarette was the only Normal thing in that shot.

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  2. Aww, thanks as always, blue! Always glad to have someone around with a taste for lowbrow, cheesy and juvenile humor!

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  3. I love the fact that the photographer was trying to be artistic with those water shots and failed miserably.

    And don't people know that skiing and smoking can lead to serious off piste accidents???

    Great post x

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  4. Yeah, and where did the skiing pic come from, amidst all the lake picture?! Raaaaan-dom.

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  5. Spinnerins are the best! So insane. I have to start keeping them. This was hilarious, Kim!

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  6. Oooh I love the knitted fashion books! I posted about the same subject last year, but the theme was ski-lodge, around the world. If you want to, scroll to bottom of post, take a look, click on the photo, you can see it extra large size! http://everythingiloveisfrom59.blogspot.com/2008/07/hobby-i-meant-to-learn.html

    The couple is wearing a matching combo of birdies and deer.

    My side hurts after I'm done browsing through them!

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  7. I want to be that dude when I grow up.

    In unrelated news, I just discovered a new band that reminded me of you. They are called The Bird and The Bee. Check them out on You Tube when you get a chance. I especially dig their song 'Love Letter to Japan.'

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  8. Thanks, Joules! xoxo

    Michelle~ OMG, your blog about them is great fun! Thanks for the link, sweets!

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  9. Monkey~ thanks for the band heads-up! Never heard of them, but I lurve finding new bands! I'll def check them out. Thanks, amigo!

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  10. Thanks, Kim. You wrote this post and I instantly thought of it, I have such a wierd obsession with collecting them! Haha

    Thanks for sharign your photos, too!

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  11. Those crazy kids, setting up their coke table in the lake!

    I'm not sure the guy was a real, live, human being at the time those photos were taken. His mannequin posture is too perfectly mannequin.

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  12. No probs, Michelle! I'm going to come back and read more of yours in a bit. Looks like I have a soul mate of sweater-mockery!

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  13. Chantelle~ "coke table" made me smirk out loud! Gives "SOL" a whole new meaning.


    And honestly, between you, me and the millions of people who don't read this blog, I think the guy is a delicious side of beef! I like my men with indestructible hair and lack of facial emotion.

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  14. Hey Kim. Great photos. It was very witty. I enjoyed it. I had no clue what Spinnerin was. Have a wonderful Friday. Cheers!

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