Friday, October 10, 2008

I Put A Spell On You

I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.

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I is also for Igor. It's the only Halloween-related "I" word I could think of. It's an unfun letter, next to Q and X, which I know will suck (with gusto!) when I get to those bitches. (You think it's so easy, hot shot? I challenge you to think of a better Halloweenish "I" word. And if you say "insane" as in Insane Clown Posse, we're breaking up. I want my Best of RATT in Concert video tape back, the hot pink scrunchy I left in your bathroom back AND the Kim Luvs U airbrushed vanity license plate we got at the Jersey Shore back).

So in hommage to all the Igors and hunchbacks we have known and loved or have not really known and not really loved, here is a list of all the cinema Igors I could find. And by the way, did you know that not all Igors are hunchbacks and not all hunchbacks are named Igor? I did not. I lumped (see the joke I made there?) them all together as the same, but they're 2 different characters. Well I'll be damned. But so what. A little stereotyping never hurt anyone, did it?

Lon Chaney, 1923, The Hunchaback of Notre Dame:

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Lionel Atwill, 1933, Mystery of the Wax Museum:

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Bela Lugosi,1939, Son of Frankenstein:

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Bela Lugosi, 1942, Ghost of Frankenstein

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Charles Bronson (that's right, bitches! Pre-'stache!), 1953, House of Wax. The original, before Paris skanked up the remake with her slutty acting skills:

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Marty Feldman, 1974, Young Frankenstein:

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Richard O'Brien, 1975, The Rocky Horror Picture Show:

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1996, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Disney crapola:

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Kevin J. O'Connor, 2004, Van Helsing. Before I looked this up, I swear I thought the hunchback part was played by Ted Danson.

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SEE?!

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And finally the last of the freaks of nature is the new Igor movie that came out last month, with my future husband John Cusack doing the voice part.

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*I Put a Spell On You by Screamin' Jay Hawkins



1 comment:

  1. Charles Bronson looked like a freak, youve really frightened me now. Im sleepin under the covers tonight even though its still like 65 FUCKING degrees here.

    WTF, wheres fall?

    ReplyDelete