Friday, May 16, 2008

Rock This Town

You know how sometimes you tell someone that you'll take them somewhere but then secretly hope they'll forget you said you'd do it? You know how an 8 year old boy never forgets you promised them Really Fun Stuff and it would be The End of All Things if you gypped them out of it? To an 8 year old boy: The circus= Awesome Good Times and Maybe The Lion Will Bite Some Guy's Head Off. To a 31 year old mom: The circus= I'd rather learn to speak archaic Latin and get a full body wax ( possibly at the same time) than go there. So of course that means we're going to the circus. Woohoo! Happy family day! Cole Bros. Circus of the Stars, here we come! But who are these so-called Stars of which you speak? If it's Gary Coleman on a tricycle, it's ON.

The circus is generally more fun in theory than it actually is when you're a grownup and you're jaded to the whole "Step right up for the circus act of a lifetime! See 27 Romanian acrobats spinning by their toenails, all while humming The Star Spangled Banner!" routine. Maybe it's just me (seriously, I can't be the only grumpy grumperton?), but aren't circuses kind of boring and not really entertaining? Waiting in line? Not fun. Being crammed in a hot, supersmelly tent and inevitably being seated next to the Gassy Fat Guy Who Smells Like Onions? Not fun, last time I checked. Witnessing a chain of elephants simultaneously taking a dump, right in front of your very eyes? Again, not so much with the fun. Unless you're an 8 year old boy and then it's called Comedy.

But being a parent means doing these things For The Children and shutting up while your kid goes "Totally awesome!" and "No. WAY!". (Apparently my kid talk likes a 1984 Valley Boy, gag me with a spoon, like REALLY.) I like the IDEA of the circus better than the actually GOING to it, though the popcorn ain't too shabby so we all win after all. So here is something I'd rather look at, not that Sweaty Buttcrack Guy Sitting In The Row In Front of Me isn't a charming site to see, but this will have to take second:

"Really Scary Clown That Eats Children" vintage sweater from daisyfairbanks is made of PURE EVIL GENUIS and I wish I had designed it first.

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