Thursday, March 27, 2008

Die Die My Darling

I'm pretty sure one of this season's must-have fashion staples for spring is an Edwardian bodily fluid-stained apron. I read that in Lucky Magazine and if Lucky says it's a trend, then BY GOD it is and you BETTER RECOGNISE. Paris has been seen wearing one emblazoned with "Meat is Hot" (nuts to you Morrissey! I still think you're awful purdy though) in glitter graphics across the ass. Girl KNOWS her body fluids. Lindsy wears hers over leggings which is SO last year- everybody knows Edwardian aprons are to be worn with skinny fit denim, not leggings. DUH.

Now that Sweeney Todd will be on DVD in a few, I highly suggest renting it for ideas on how to properly accessorize the Edwardian Apron, since Lucky skipped that part (thanks for not telling us how to accessorize, LUCKY). Meat cleaver? Yes! With pantaloons? WORK IT! With a freakishly pale and fashionably crazier-than-Bjork muse on the side, making you look less pale and less crazy? Totally! Can Johhny Depp be considered an accessory? He goes with everything! But I think Claire's is sold out.


You too can get your meat-grinding hands on your very own Edwardian Blood-Stained Apron. (Note to self: must use "meat-grinding hands" as a filthy/awesome punchline in a future post, somehow tied in with George Clooney, myself and Cancun). Lucky for you, The Vintage Peddler has one right now. And while I normally don't (yes I do) get sucked into reading the "Weird and Really Bizarre" ebay listings like Jebus Toast and Ghost-In-A-Jar and Haunted Underwear, the Peddler KNOWS her possessed vintage. So it may not be possessed, I just find it way more entertaining to say it is. So it is.

God, That's Good!

(Note to self: must use "haunted underwear" as a *really* filthy/awesome punchline in a future post, somehow tied in with Young Elvis, myself and a Cadillac. There may be peanut butter involved, I don't know.)

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