Ouija Board, Ouija Board

It's Friday the 13th? Again?! Sigh. You know, I was all about it when it was Friday the 13th last month but again this month is starting to get desperate, like it can't find anything else better to do. I'm sick of you, F-T-13th. So instead of doing anything 13-ish today, I'm gonna show some vintage 50's sci-fi comic book covers to "celebrate" (read: yawn uncontrollably and mockingly) the day. Again.



Thanks to genetic manipulation testing of the 1950's, we've learned that you just can't successfully mate with Sea Monkeys.



Doctor: Mr. Jones? It seems you have an extreme case of Gluteus Maximus Swollenitis. In other words, you have a big ass. There is help, however! There is tricky surgery we can do on you involving a Cuisinart, Jackée Harry and a gallon of Tang. There's no time to explain. As soon you sign these consent forms, we'll get to it!

Mr. Jones: But my company just cancelled my Blue Cross plan! Nnnoooooooooo!



Here at your friendly Underworld Crime Mini Mall, you'll get treated to a soothing head massage and a delicious Creamsicle while you wait for your torture! Remember: that's the Underground Crime Mini Mall located off I-95 behind the dumpsters, next to Miss Chang's House of Nails, where you'll come for the lip waxing...but stay for the happy endings.



Before the Blog turned evil, he was known at The Buzzkill.

"Hey guys, where ya *hic*...where ya goin'? It's still early and we didn't finish the *hic* poker game! My wife didn't mean to call you a bunch of drunken *hic* losers! Aww, COME ON! You guys are *hic* dicks!...I'm sorry, I didn't mean that...I *hic* love you guys...I mean it, I love you guys, not in a gay way or anything, just like buddies, you know? Dude, I'm so hungry I could eat...what's the word? A norse? I said "norse"! Ahahahaha....*hic* so hey guys, where ya goin'? *hic*


"Ouija Board, Ouija Board" by Morrissey.