Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue

In more Barbie news (I know, I know, enough with the Barbie already, but this is so ridonkulous I have to share the stupid), you'll be happy to know that Mattel is branching out in it's hipness and releasing a Tattoo Barbie. I kid you not. Because that's exactly what 6-year-olds have been wanting. Apparently the company tried it once before to the outrage of many, but they're giving it another go? Because tattoos aren't just for high school senior football players and 45-year-old midlife crisis moms anymore! Now, I'm all for self-expression. Or whatever. I have many tattoos myself, but you bet your ass not a one is someone's name nor does my abdomen say "Thug Life" in Old English lettering. Although I would not object to "Slug Life". Tattoos are rarely about self-expression these days. What are you expressing with that Tinkerbell tattoo, exactly? Yeah. That's what I though.

So just what will Miss Thang look like? So whatddya think: will she look like a college sorority skank with a peace sign on her ankle and a barbed wire arm piece? Or will she look like a Rock of Love reject? Let's see the 1999 version...



She's gonna look cool. If you think having a "tribal" lower back tattoo and a "Ken" in a heart on her chest is cool. Which it is not. And for the record, what the hell does "tribal" even mean? What tribe are you from exactly, to necessitate representing it in a tattoo? "Doucebag Tribe represent, yo." That's about at stupid as getting any Asian character tattoo. How do you know the tattoo you thought meant "peace and love" in Chinese doesn't really mean "jackass"? This just in: tattoos are officially over.