Open Book

It's time for the March vintage giveaway! Can you even stand it? I know I can. I'm jumping the gun this month and doing it (I said doing it) a little early, since at the end of the month I'm going away on a super awesome happy fun time vacay and will have no time to delight the world with with the free crapola. (Actual "super" "awesome" or "happy" is debatable, since it is a vacation with family, after all. But they do put the "fun" in dysfunction.)

This month it's a vintage book. And before you're all "Uhh, a book? Thanks, mom. That's exactly what we always wanted. A book. Maybe next month you'll give us new socks if we're really good and do our chores. Swell." But there's hardly any actual reading required, just a social commentary of post-war America told through titled black and white photos. (Ha! I sounded like I knew what I was talking about there for a second!) Also, Reading Is Fundamental, bitches. The book is called: "The Fifties: Photographs of America." (Ok, so the book is vintage 1985, but it's still vintage so shut your pieholes. You'll love it. Why? Because I said you'll love it, that's why.)

As usual, everyone and anyone is welcome to sign up for the giveaway! (Except hippies.) Either leave a comment that you want in, or drop me a line at fasteddiesretrorags@yahoo.com. I'll randomly pick a winner (or whomever bribes me the best) in a week, on March 17. As usual, you don't pay a thing! And for your own protection (from loan sharks and common mob goons) don't post your name and address here!



Behold what you you'll feast your eyes on, through my crappy photo skillz. I said behold!



"Life in a trailer park."



"Working on the car." It's a good thing the author told us they're working on a car. I thought they were baking a pie.



"Showgirl and Eddie Fisher." More like "Eddie Fisher: Big Pimpin'." (Do you think he tried to sneak a peek at her rack?)



"Gang." Amy Winehouse and the Gang pile into the Mystery Machine and head on down to Coney Island, to crack The Case of the Missing 8 Ball.



"Jane Mansfield and her dog." Aww, c'mon, you knew there'd be a gratuitous JMan shot! (Her leopard swimsuit= love.) Making tiny, pain in the ass designer dogs that you carry in a Louis Vuitton handbag cool, way before Beverly Hills Chihuahua and that useless Hilton broad. (No, I mean, the other one.)



"Motorama". The cars of tomorrow, today.



Bunny Hop. Blasphemous teens! Avert your eyes to the sinning! Don't they know that dancing combined with rock and/or roll music sends them on a path straight to sexual intercourse- and then girls getting jobs- and then to the devil? It's time for an old fashioned bible-thumping, Footloose-style.

"Open Book" by Cake.