Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Wanna Be Startin` Somethin`

DUDES. Some parts of Michael Jackson turned 50 recently and ain't nobody gonna give the "man" a shout-out?! First Madonna and now this guy? Sigh. Do I have to do everything?! Fine. So what if he's a walking corpse with a face you can open bottles on? So what if he once was a black man who somehow has children of the corn, WASP-y kids and names them after inanimate household objects? So what if he owns 27 pairs of formal jammies? You act like he's a nutbag or something. GOSH.

Remember the time when he grabbed his crotch alot and wore a single silver sequined glove and had his hair set on fire and had a pet monkey and "dated" girls and was BFF's with Corey Feldman and no one thought having an amusement park in his backyard was creepy and also really creepy? Ahh...good times, good times.

Remember when "Thriller" was the most kickASSingest video of all time-- granted there were only like 4 other videos playing on the MTVs at that point, BUT STILL.

Scared the living bejesus outta me when I was 6 (ish) when it came out. Also scary are the Whitey McGees getting married out there who think it's really clever and amusing to have their bridal party learn & perform the "Thriller" dance as a surprise for their guests. I'm sure it's safe to say it's neither clever nor amusing, but actually quite embarrassing. So nerdy white people getting married: don't do the "Thriller". Doing the "I had the time of my life" Dirty Dancing routine is not acceptable either. Open for discussion, however: The Humpty Dance.

You love this jacket, admit it. It reminds you of Tab and Cool Ranch Doritos. And it's way tougher than a Member's Only jacket, which only weenies wore. The jacket is offered by a seller on the ebays--on a side note: I hesitated giving props to this seller, because their subtitle is a major fail: "punk vintage 80's LEATHER jacket pop rock NOT RETRO". I think they mean it's not a REPRO because it is nothing BUT retro. Typos and errors makes me angry. But still, click the pic to check it out:

On another side note: the jacket label is made of awesome...Metal.


It is anything BUT metal. In fact, I'm pretty sure if you wore this back in the 80's around real headbangers, your ass woulda been grass.

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