Monday, September 1, 2008

Just A Girl

It's officially September and you know what that means? Yeah, me neither. But Halloween is next month and I'm getting obsess-y about it, because, you know, you need lots of time to do it right and not half-assed, like going out to Party City and buying a pre-made cheesetastic costume that looks like a white plastic apron that says, like, "Marilyn Monroe" on it. Hells but no! Homie don't play that.

So every year friends of ours throw a badass Halloween party with a theme and you have to dress up, "or else", apparently. One year's theme was "Dead Prom"- a little cliche, but easy and fun. Like me. Heyyy-yo! (These are the Monday morning jokes! Yeah, I know. Sorry). So anyway, this year's theme is "Dead Celebrities". The more tasteless the better. Well that's right up my alley! (That's what SHE said. Ok, that's enough).

So the ball and chain says he wants to be Buddy Holly, easy, we have a closet full of clothes for that, skinny lapel, skinny tie, black frames, done. And another pal of ours says he'll be the Big Bopper and I'm all, great, so that leaves me with Ritchie Valens, then? Well THAT'S not fun, what the hell? Jerks.


Besides, I've already done the dressing-up-as-a-guy thing before when I went as Gomez Adams and I said I wasn't going to dress like a dude again. Unless it was RuPaul. Besides not being a 7-foot tall fabulous gay black man, the similarities are endless. Or maybe Andy Kaufman as Tony Clifton. I haven't gotten my eyebrows OR lip waxed in a while, so I'm already halfway there. But the last time I checked I'm still a chick and can't I just feel pretty, dammit? When do *I* get to be the pretty pink unicorn & rainbow sparkle princess?! I never get what I want! Daddy, *I* want a golden goose! (Hey, Veruca's not a half-bad idea. Anyone know of she's still alive?)


More thoughts:
*Johnny Cash and June Carter, the 70's version would be splendid, no? A long, flowy number that looks like the Chiffon Fairy had one too many lime and tequila shooters and hurled a frothy green catastrophe of ruffles and lace in the form of a 70's gown oughtta do it.


*JFK and Jackie. Did I mention that bad taste is encouraged in this sitch? Simmer down already, don't get all "Oh NO SHE DI'NT"! Because "Oh YES I DID"! Geeze. Settle down, Beavis.


Or...? Or...? I'm out of ideas. If any of you nerds that I love so have a swell idea, by all means help a sister out! (Speaking of nerds, are any "Star Trek" actors dead yet?)


  1. I had to come read your blog, didnt I? I am in the process of trying to talk Ang into having a Halloween party in her shop. Nothing big, like 15 people.

    Ive always wanted to dress up as Michael Myers. This way, I can hide behind a mask all night and I would also not have to talk, just like the real living Mr. Myers!

    Being anything/anyone that requires me to slick back my hair is out, thats too common for me, I grease my hair back like everyday as it is, its a great pillow case killer, lemme tell ya.

  2. Is Doris Day still alive?