Shell-Shock

File under: So Many Questions, So Little Time.
Double file under: How DARE You Sell-Out My Youth?!
Triple File Under: Those Damn Teenagers Ruin Everything!

What JACKHOLE working for JC Penney advertising thought this was a great idea? Because he needs to be shot. Nay, something more medieval behooves me. Tarred and feathered? Methinks the best solution is he needs to be turned into a eunuch. Cheapen my memories of growing up in the 80's? I cut off your balls.

What 12 year old would have ANY clue what this commercial was referencing? Does anyone under the age of 25 even know what the commercial is spoofing? Pre-teens?! REALLY? The Breakfast Club?! REALLY? I can't...I just can't. Why, my little turtle dove John Hughes, WHY would you destroy your legacy of making the most awesome of teen flicks of all time? People, this isn't cute and retro! It's terribly wrong and I can't...I just can't.

I pour out my Colt 45 for you, John Hughes and totally rad 80's movies. You are all dead to me now. Thanks JC Penney!

I know you've all seen this, but watch it and join me in a cocktail or 4. If you need me, I'll be sitting in the DeLorean and listening to a Culture Club cassette.