Thursday, August 7, 2008

Smells Like Teen Spirit

Dear Jebus,
Whatever I did to anger you, I promise I'll never do it again. I'll stop prank calling my in-laws and stealing toilet paper from McDonald's, I swear. I fear your wrath, I do, I FEAR YOUR WRATH. Just please make the Tori Spelling GO AWAY.

Notice how Tori's husband WhoeverTheHellHisNameIs looks more like a woman than she does. How does she look so manly? She would make a most excellent drag queen playing herself, would she not? Tor-He Spelling could take Vegas by storm, with her BFF's Patrick Swayze and Wesley Snipes by her side getting themselves into trouble with their wacky adventures and cross dressing tomfoolery, those crazy kids. She'd probably be more successful playing a drag queen than whatever awesome...well, let's just call it "acting" jobs she's dredging up these days. Oh wait, there IS always that nuclear bomb called the NEW 90210 sure to be a super hit, so we're good.

Looks like that blow to the head from when Ray Pruit pushed her whiny ass down the stairs caused more brain damage than we thought. Enjoy these little forays into blasphemy as America's favorite couple Tori and WhatsHisBalls make famous celebrities roll in their graves. Yay!

Lucy and Ricky? You gotta be farging kidding me?!


Johnny Cash and June carter. Oh good lord.


Sonny and Cher and I officially feel the chunks rising.


Courtney and Kurt. Making suicide fun!



  1. Hilarious post.

    Since Tor usually hires herslf, we have to assume she'll be with us a while longer. Another tragedy of hte small screen.

    Those pics are vomitous. Sad... a wannabe at her age. And also infuriating. AS IF, bitch!

  2. ehhh, I just threw up a little.
    That Lucy photo is really, really frightening.