Monday, March 31, 2008

Tears of a Clown

Is it just me (most likely), or is April Fool's Day the WORST HOLIDAY of all time? It even beats out Arbor Day and Earth Day- but any holiday that beats out a HIPPIE HOLIDAY is fine by me, because hippies don't get all crazy-like over holidays anyways, so they shouldn't be out all saving nature and rescuing endangered...I don't know, what ARE all the cool hippies rescuing these days? Because saving dolphins is SO 1990. And it's NOT FAIR that they have a day dedicated to their earth hugging patchouliness. What do you do for us the rest of the year, HIPPIES? Maybe I want a tree planted the day AFTER Arbor Day, well then what am I supposed to do? And where's MY day? Maybe I need a day dedicated to watching a Saved By the Bell marathon, drinking daiquiris and not getting out of my pajamas all day, because that will help EVERYONE out in the long run. TRUST. And is April Fool's Day even considered a holiday? An event? Or just a no-titled kind of day, just good to pull pranks and play tricksies? ( preciousss...) What is it? WHAT IS IT?! If someone could tell me, I would appreciate it.

A million years ago (or maybe 13) in my first year of college I made the mistake of letting a couple of hippies that I worked with at the health food store talk me into the working at the renaissance faire. The the REN FAIRE, PEOPLE. And it was VOLUNTEER. Brutally long days in the dead of summer outside with no air conditioning, acting a damn clown for idiots from out of state who just paid too much for their Jumbo Turkey Legs, in the woods, with flying insect bug type things everywhere, walking, for free. Also known as the worst summer of my life so far or ever will be or ever was in any past life or ever will be in any reincarnated lives in the future. Looking back I must have been high (on life) to think this was cool...but I vaguely recall after many, MANY beers thinking that having "volunteer Ren Faire wench" on a resume would be a great idea. Like any prospective employer would read my resume and think, "She walked around all day working a fake British accent and quoting Shakespeare?! Surely you jest! Corner office!". The joke was on THEM though, because I came back the following October and volunteered for the Edgar Allen Poe Haunted Halloween Village, this time walking around rocking a fake British accent, quoting Poe and wearing ZOMBIE MAKEUP. I showed THEM alright. Hippies, you fooled me for the LAST TIME.

But don't you be a fool. You will love these crazy novelty prints and whimsical nonsenseries to celebrate the day of tomfoolery. Which I hate. The day, I mean. Not the stuff below, suckas.

This is so wonderfully bad and badly wonderful. It's aqua. In a diamond shape. And you hang it on the wall so everyone can marvel at it's kitschy wrongness that is so right. From Dandelion Girl

Keep your knight in shining armor close to your heart (aww shucks) with this cutie pie vintage blouse from Denisebrain. It'll be up for sale in a few days, hold your horses people.


Shields, axes, pointy stabby things? What more could a girl ask for? From my friend Jody at Couture Allure

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