Way-Out Wednesday: Tea For Two

(Menfolk, you may be bored stiff (I said "stiff", uh huh huh) and go deaf with all the clucking you're about to hear here. Now's a good time to go watch Married With Children or scratch something for a while. You've been warned.)

To all you crafty and sewing types: you all have a mountainous pile started, whether it's vintage clothing or whatnot, of things that need fixing and you swear one day you'll suck it up and sit down and just fix it already, right? Me too. I wear vintage every day that usually has some sort of flaw about it, because no one really buys flawed vintage, so it's not worth listing most of the time and I don't have the heart to throw it out. Also, I have no qualms whatsoever about wearing fuckedup intage, like a 50's cotton dress that's faded from too many washings or a sweater with a few moth chomps. But there gets to be a point where it's just seen better days and the hobo look ain't really cutting it. Not even hobos pull that look off. So what do you do? Me? If it's something that has a really kickass print or a great color or has some redeeming quality, I'll upcycle it into something else, like a pillow or a little clutch handbag or a whisky bottle cozy.

Same goes for random vintage curtains and linens that need a new purpose in life. Problem is, I start out with really great intentions of making something, usually to give to someone else, and then halfway through I'm either A.) bored B.) frustrated or C.) too drunk to go. And now that pile of "needs fixing" turns into "Kim is an ass and here's another halfway-done piece of god knows what crappy craft project thing to add to the pile, oh sweet jebus, please stop already because your follow-through sucks it big time and oh look, Good Times is on, sweet." True story: I have a novelty print tea towel that belonged to my Mom in the early 60's that says "To HELL with housework!" that has seen better days, so I have plans of adding that square of fabric to a simple 50's black full skirt. Because I like my clothing to say swears. Where is it right now? Safety-pinned to the skirt aaaand that's as far as it got! (PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one who does this and someone out there gets it and I'm not a big ol' wackjob after all?)

So today's Way-Out Wednesday is in honor oh my current project gone astray: the lonely ol' vintage tea towel. All of the killer vintage 50's tea towels below are available from the same seller on etsy, Call Me Jasper.



Message in a bottle! Fun! But now I could seriously tear into a bag of Goldfish crackers for some reason.




Crudites! Canapes! Hor d'oeurves! Finger food for fancy bitches!





Hmm, should I add one baby or two?





Where everybody knows my name. PS: I LOVE this one in ways that are almost unholy. So. Very. Unholy. The wanting. It hurts.





Bird in a top hat? Win! Champagne glass? Win! Bird in a top hat sitting on the champagne glass? Win! A million falling swizzle sticks? Infinity win!



"Tea for Two" by Doris Day, Frank Sinatra and about a million other people.