Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Rico Suave

You know what's been bugging me lately? (Besides politics...the in-laws...most people...the "check engine" light that never shuts off...) It's the fact that every year, the "Fashion Trend Reports" come out in the fall and again in spring, predicting what'll be "hot" (that word is horrible) for the season. I can pretty much tap into my mighty psychic skillz and predict it. For free. And without needing to be some useless, borderline retarded fashionista either. (*cough* Posh Spice *cough* Paris Hilton).

All you need to do is repeat the SAME EXACT TRENDS every season. I'm going to take a WILD guess and predict that for fall, earthy hues with a punch of "jewel tones" (ie: amethyst purples, garnet reds and the like) will be major, as well as plaids and tweeds, throw in some leather, suede, and velvet. Am I close? I damn well SHOULD be, because those are the "trends" for fall from the PAST 4 YEARS. Lucky Magazine should hire me. I'm a freaking GEM, I say. MSN Shopping (like they've got their pulse on what Kids These Days are wearing) predicts- and I quote-

"While traditionally a time for subdued colors, this fall is defined by rich hues with exciting undertones expressing sophistication and elegance. Plum and deep purple are the colors of the season, while camel, olive, and mustard vie for second place"

Are they saying that earth tones and jewel tones are a hit? No kidding?!

"The over-riding trend this season is tactile fabrics in ultra-sophisticated effects and finishes that add richness to clean tailoring. The favorite fabric of the season is wool, but in featherweights that highlight your figure. Textured effects on tweeds, Shetlands, or mohair add rich detailing that remains light and warm, while rough-cut hemlines appear on the more dense fabrics to create a threaded effect. Houndstooth, plaids and other traditionally masculine patterns are found in everything from coats to handbags."

I NEVER in a million years could have guessed that wool and tweed and plaid patterns were going to be popular. I'm such a dope.

I bet for winter people are going to wear...oh, I dunno...COATS? And perhaps BOOTS of some Ugg-like variety? Time will tell if I'm right. I think we need to bring the muff back (I said muff) in sheared beaver (come ON, I couldn't stop myself. I have a problem. Sorry.) And 1920's knickerbocker pants for men. And Charlie Chaplin style bowlers. And the Stutz Bearcat will be THEE car to drive. See? What the hell does Donatella know anyway?

No? FINE. If you insist on your wools and your plaids and your whateverthehells.
I loves me these capris! From Viva Vintage Clothing come these wonderful vintage 50's, red plaid (check), wool (double check) capris with little laces on the hem. Not too useful in the fall and winter here in Poconos hell, but surely you California folk can rock these. ROCK THEM I SAY.

But don't say I didn't predict that earmuffs would be cool.

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