Thursday, August 28, 2008

Shiny, Happy People

I recently heard that a certain person I know (it's not me) who is under the age of 18 and related to me (seriously, it's not me) goes to therapy and is already on some kind of antidepressant. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING AND IT'S NOT ME, DAMMIT! I may be 99% pessimist and 1% full of stab...and I pretty much don't like people... but if you ask me, that's called well-balanced. But this particular teenager on antidepressants is just farked up. Please kill me now if that came off sounding Dyanetics batshit crazy, Tom Cruise-style. Because I am all for meds. Hell, I don't give a rat's ass if you're down with "street meds", whatever gets you through the night, man. My drug of choice is Midol, so see? I AM badass. While I understand that some folks are born with wonky brains and some come from bad news homes and I thoroughly understand that some people plain old need to be on meds, well it's all good in my hood, but this particular teen has a cushy life, doesn't even drive and has never worked a job a day in her life so tell me dear readers, how hard can life be? Waaa! Life is too hard, I don't work or earn anything I have and get driven everywhere! Sad am I! No one understands! What the girl needs is a good kick in the pants and a bitchslap from life in the real world. Am I wrong for not being empathetic toward's today's youth? Well if you modern parents didn't SUCK SO HARD maybe today's youth wouldn't be so useless, how about THAT? Have I mentioned I have raging PMS? I probably should have warned you. Sorry.

It's no wonder kids are getting bummed at life earlier and earlier. We went to a very local yocal carnival type fair dealie, which is always cheap fun and if there's one thing I loves is cheap crap. So this fair dealie had the typical scammy overpriced games that are impossible to win, but they did have those games that require zero skill that even hand-eye-coordination-impaired dorks like us could master that advertise "Every Kid Wins A Prize!" Joy! We love free prizes! Yeeeah, about that. Turns out the free crap is precisely that. Crap. Cheap, plastic necklace beads? Really? Show-Me-Your-Boobs,Sluts-Mardi-Gras beads? Really? Boys love winning...beads. Freaking geniuses. But that is neither here nor there. Nothing says "happy children" than winning this:


Yay! It's the unhappy smiley face toy! While I appreciate the effort, couldn't it perhaps look like it's, oh, I don't know, HAPPY, and not so much like it's got lockjaw from all the fake smiling and suffering through a day of forced-fun at the in-laws? Thanks, China! I knew we could count on you for providing hours of fun through mass-produced, sweat-shopped, not-fun toys!

As someone who beat me to the punch already said "Life means suffering. To live means to suffer, because the human nature is not perfect and neither is the world we live in...This means we are never able to keep permanently what we strive for, and just as happy moments pass by, we ourselves and our loved ones will pass away one day, too." Now THAT'S what I'm talking about, Willis.

While it's not in my nature forcing people to "Have a Nice Day", there is something about this vintage fabric that makes me want to fashion the most ridiculous Clampett-esque dress and for a few moments not have such a grim disposition for at least one whole day.

You can get this crazy cute fabric from Twig & Berries. Yep. Twig. And berries. Don't make me go there, perv....

....That's what SHE said. Damn!

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