Friday, May 8, 2009

Salty Dog


Do explain, Flying Dutchmen, seeing's as though I'm just a dumb gurl and're saying we'll follow a man anywhere because of your fine blend of 18 different kinds of tobaccy? That we can be lead around willy-nilly, like some stupid horse chasing a carrot on a stick? So just because you say women will like it makes it so? Awesome. Then guess what? I'm the freaking new dictator of the world and everyone must do as I say. Or else. And are you saying that, what, we like a man to smell like pirate? Pirate funk is considered "mysteriously aromatic"? Interesting notion, 1970's tobacco marketing committee. Because I'm fairly sure women like men to smell like Aqua Velva and Slim Jims, and not of, say, sailors on shore leave, trout and rum. Oh Flying Dutchman, I can't stay mad at you. You had me at "Lead women around by the nose." Though I must say I like your old tag line "Flying Dutchman Tobacco: We haven't beaten a women over the head with a club and dragged her by her hair into our caves and had her make us woolly mammoth steaks since 1956!" better.

"Salty Dog" by Flogging Molly.

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