Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Way-Out Wednesday: Barbecue Any Old Time

It's Way-Out Wednesday and that means there's vintage to be found, struttin' it's stuff along on a fine line between wholesome kitschy fun and "Oh sweet jebus, my eyes!".

Today's picks are for the boys. The men! The manliest of men! The hairiest and most mustachio'ed of macho men! I mean of course, the Manly Apron. No girlie-men allowed on this day, for today it's about grillin' meat! And aprons! Macho aprons! Which require much shouting! And the use of superfluous exclamation points!!!

The man apron (Manpron? Apman?) is pretty much a dead fashion statement these days, and I'm not referring to the cheestacular, fleeting interest in manly aprons of the 1980's that said "Kiss the Cook" or had a risque drawing of a naked man on the front, so when worn, it looked like the chef was standing there, cooking in the nude. Hilarious.

You may recall the days of the Ward Cleavers and the Ozzie Nelsons- not exactly who you think of when you say "manly men", but as the head of the household they manned the bbq grill, as did most dad-types in Anytown, USA beginning from it's post-war explosion of grilling-pit interest to modern day. And they wouldn't wear their wives' pink froo-froo aprons (unless, of course, it was for slapstick comedic gold, such as when Ricky and Fred traded lives with Lucy and Ethel and they wore their lacy aprons. What a hoot.) Nay, your average Joe had an apron of his own, usually with a wacky, totally 50's novelty print on the front and almost always some sort of derogatory-to-womankind picture on the front. The good ol' days. (I'm a chick and even I can say lighten the hell up already! Kitsch isn't meant to be apologetic.) So with summer creeping up, I think it's high time men also lighten the hell up already and take back the grill in style.

(PS: Is it just me or have I been talking about meat alot lately? up... with that? (said like Jerry Seinfeld). Meatmeatmeatmenmenmengrillinggrillinggrilling. Freudian or coincidence? Or a blogging hack? Or in need of upping her dosage? All of the above? You be the judge.)

So here are a few of my favorites, all available for sale as of this very second. (None are owned by me, which makes me and baby jebus sad.) Each pic is clickable to take you to the listing where you can purchase it and wear it with testosterone-y flair. Extra points to anyone who owns a Trans Am or rocks a Smokey and the Bandit mustache.

Looks like Sam the Butcher has been dipping in the sauce again. I would suggest avoiding the Liver Special.


"There are strange things done 'neath the midnight sun." Such as...? DO tell.

For the man who prefers AA to A1. That's right, Borderline Alcoholic Gardener, screw the "B-Que" and head straight to the "Bar".

"Please don't stand up while the room is in motion." "Our policy: The customer is always tight." Will the hilarity never end? "Don't take life so seriously. You'll never get out of it alive" sounds like something your annoying office buddy would have hanging on her cubicle wall, right next to the motivational "Hang in There" cat poster and Cathy cartoon clippings.


By far, this one's my favorite. While I appreciate the coolness of the pinups and the play on "Hot Dish", is it necessary to have the gals writhing in pain in a frying pan? That's not safe. It looks like something out of a cheesy Bugs Bunny cartoon. I know they're supposed to be sassy and all, but look at their poses- they even look like they're dying a slow death by frying. And PS: As IF a fatass, old slob like him would have a harem of babes like that. (A man must have invented that one.) Reality FAIL. That only happens in movies. And Utah.

"Barbecue Any Old Time" by Blind Boy Fuller

1 comment:

  1. Ok I dig the last one, I have some BBQ aprons but not as cool as these!