Swingin' Them Jingle Bells

If you're like me (and jebus help you if you are), then you probably also wait 'til the very last minute to buy crap for your peeps. But a word of advice, no matter how much your Dad says he'll love whatever you get him, slapping a bow on a bag of Funyuns and a can of Slim Jims ain't gonna cut it from the Kwikie Mart on Xmas Day. And anyway, forget about those damn ingrates. What junk are they going to get you? The new Britney Spears perfume? A Snuggie? (Ok, so I secretly really, reeeeally want one of those creepy, monk-like, cocoon-y...blanket...robe...dealies. If you have no idea what I'm talking about as usual, you can see the craptastic commercial for it here. It is LAME and I love it.)

Well screw that. Spend money on something purdy for yourself instead. 'Tis the season to be a greedy bastard, or whatever. I think that's what the song's moral is, isn't it? Get ready for greatness. (Whoever can tell me what movie that line is from wins nothing!)

I've been looking online for vintage Xmas novelty prints in clothing and there is not much out there. What gives? There's tons of kitschy 50's tablecloths. Awesome, but you can't rock a tablecloth to a party. Well you could, at the risk of looking like the institution let you out a little too soon before treatment was complete. And there's lots of coolio vintage fabrics out there, such as this one below from Fuzzielizzie aka The Vintage Traveler. You know I can't stand me some cats, but vintage 50's kittehs wearing bows under Xmas trees is too much.



But I did indeed find a few fan-freaking-tastic vintage pieces of clothing that you might die for. Or maybe you won't, but you would if you knew what was good for ya. And it's not too late, my little plum puddings. You can still get all of these things in time for Xmas but act fast! Or don't, what do I care. Try to show you something nice and it goes unappreciated. I still love you though, my little sweet savory sausages. (Click on each pic to take you to the listings.)

Vintage 60's party dress~ you can't tell from this picture, but in the weave of the dress is Christmas ornaments! You can wear your BALLS on you sleeve. You heard. From my homeslice Dorothea's Closet Vintage:



This is probably *thee* most Xmas-y dress you've ever seen. Seriously, it is. Because I said it is. Good god y'all, I love this vintage 50's dress- well, it's not a dress, but a blouse and skirt set, so you really can make a jillion different outfits from it. Or 3. But you see what I'm getting at. From mi amiga bonita Senorita Hollywood Vintage:



And finally from yours truly, me, of Fast Eddie's Retro Rags, comes this vintage late 50's/early 60's novelty print blouse with HUGE cuffs and a trillion sparkling rhinestones. Am I insane for thinking it's the coolest thing ever? You should probably not answer that, unless the answer is "Why yes, Kim. Yes it is."




The front has a print of a tree and presents...



...and the back has an old-timey carriage scene of old-timey peeps doing old-timey things. Dig it.