Monday, December 15, 2008

Oh, Tannenbaum

How is it possible that I had more Xmas spirit on Halloween than I do now? Is it wrong that all I want to do is eat fried things, watch Saved By the Bell and blame everyone else for my Grinchy disposition? I thought not.

Total presents bought: 0
Total cards mailed: 0
Total cookies baked: 0
Total carols sung: 1. But I was flying high on eggnog, so it DOESN'T COUNT as being festive.

I blame the malls and Targets and places of mass consumerism for pushing Xmas in our grills too early. You know who else I blame? Lemme think...Jebus Claus. I blame him, somehow. What with his forcing his 8 Reindeer Of The Apocalypse on us, threatening us to be good OR ELSE. And Rudolph doesn't count as one of the team players. He's a freaking GIMP for crying out loud. A gimp with a robot nose. Why is HE so special that he gets the cherry spot all the way up front? I'm sure Dasher and Dancer behind him are quite sick to death of staring at the "handicapped" licence plate hanging from his ass. I bet they're just itching to throw his lame ass overboard when Jebus Clause isn't looking and blame it on trade winds. Whatever happened to survival of the fittest and all? Casting out the less-able and putting the strongest and most virile in charge? Even Jebus Clause fell prey to the PC-ness of the Season. Either that, or he was threatened to be sued by Rudolph's parents for gimpy nose discrimination.

I did, however, manage to put up my tree this weekend. I love me some of that wonky tree that takes forEVer to put together. It's up, but it's not decorated, which will be done in stages throughout the week or however long the eggnog lasts.

Here's a current, "before" pic:


Yeah, it's sitting on a hatbox with no tree skirt around it yet and not decorated and looking rather sad and unloved currently, so what, you wanna fight about it?

It has the coolest little explosions on the end of each branch, like the tree is regurgitating shredded soda cans.


Perhaps when the mood behooves me, I'll show the "after" picture, once I make purdy my "Evergleam Stainless Aluminum 7 Foot Tree With Tripod Stand" (so says the box, what, you think I could make that crap up?)


  1. Evergleam--the best aluminum trees--made in Manitowoc, Wisconin.

    Love the wacky hat box stand. Can't wait to see it decorated!

  2. Very cute tree! As Vyvyan from the Young Ones' vest would say....VERY METAL

  3. Oh honey, I looove me the Young Ones! Great flipping show. I wish PBS would play it again.