Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Who Do You Love?

A girl can only bitch about things for so long before she needs a break and also I'm afraid karma will send me an email that says "I'm gonna git you, sucka" and perhaps it's time to write about something that doesn't make me crabby and make a list of things I actually like. I'm only one person, people. But tomorrow I'll probably be back true to form complaining about kids these days and their crazy jazz records, so no worries.

So now, a quick list of useless and garbagey things I love that I wish I invented, had my flux capacitor not been stolen and the DeLorean not in the shop.

1.) The Ex Voodoo Knife Holder.

So I got lucky (I said "I got lucky") and missed out on a past full of psycho ex boyfriends that need a voodoo pox placed upon them- but- I do have a past full of random guys that wouldn't be too bad off if they were set on fire or maimed just a little.


2.) Big Mouth Billy Bass.

I wish I was more redneckier and hillbillier so that hanging this above my mantle would be apropos, but we can't all be born lucky.


3.) Beer Drinking Hat.

You'd think I'd have a little more class than to want to wear this to all the football games I never go to. But I don't.


4.) The Gem Sweater Schtick.

WHY didn't I think of this? This kind of white trashy goodness is wonderful. Leslie is a marketing genius, collecting the goodness of white trashy 80's gem sweaters and turning them into an empire, complete with a Gem Sweater Museum, website and music videos. And she wears gold spandex. GOLD. SPANDEX.


We may have been separated at birth.

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