I'm Baa-aaack!

Hey y'all! I'm back from my fabulous jet-setting life (read: family dysfunction, vacation-style.) It was...well, whatever the word is for "more than freaking fantastic", staying in a multi million dollar ocean side beach house (yep, multi million dollar beach house, with the ocean right in the backyard), on Holden Beach, a quaint, fancy pantsy island in North Carolina. It's the kind of lifestyle one quickly becomes accustomed to, not that the Dollar Store strip malls and Wal-Mart superscenters aren't an amazingly luxe life to live. Needless to say, being easily-amused mountain folk (where the most tropical locale is Big Bob's Bass-Fishin' Lake and RV Park), the ocean was exactly the kind of "let's get the hell outta here and see something new" trip I needed. Waking up to the sound of traffic is not quite the same as waking up to the sound of waves crashing, I'll have you know. I'll post more pics in the next few days of an education sort and quit yer bitchin', you'll learn something and you'll like it! In the meantime, here's some Rear Window- style peeping of the ghetto in which I had to live in:







It's pretty tragic isn't it? Can you believe I had to have this in the backyard
every day? I feel sorry for me.

And it's like I've been sayin'~birds are indeed flying jerks and are plotting some sketchy human invasion in the not too distant future as we speak. You can't trust 'em. Interesting fact: Seagulls have a blood lust for Cheetos. They will stalk your ass. Sea gulls will invade your personal space, attack your villages and dive-bomb you from the back, ninja-style. True story.





Oh sweet jebus in a Prius, see what I mean? Too close! Mayday! Birds' beaks and fists of fury nearing my 3 foot safety bubble! Give up yer Cheeto booty!